Valentine's Day

It's been rumored that Valentine's Day has one of the highest suicide rates out of any day in the year.  Truth is, it doesn't.  While over the course in Canada in 2011, there were 3738 reported suicides, there was no more suicides on Valentine's Day than there were on other days.

In fact, the number of suicides in Canada has dropped from the previously reported numbers.  While we still lost many lives, knowing that 60+ people more than before decided to not take their lives, shows that we are doing something different, something helpful in our communities.  We need to keep improving to save as many lives as we possibly can.

So why do people assume that Valentine's Day shows more suicides than others?  

Mainly because society in general, movies, books, etc, have said time & time again that Valentine's Day are for those in relationships, lovers, partners, husbands & wives, telling someone who means the world to you how you truly feel, and showering that person with gifts, adoration, and love.  

Basically saying, that if you are single on Valentine's Day, you should be feeling:

Depressed - "No one wants to be with me"

Anxious - "Why can't I keep a boyfriend/girlfriend?  What's WRONG with me?"

Stressed - "I'm NEVER going to get married/have kids/buy a house this way!"

Sad - "I wish I had said yes to that person who asked me out last week..."

Suicidal - "If there's no one who loves me, why am I ever bothering with life"

That you should be:

Overeating - "Hellooooooo tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.....BFF's?  Okay"

Watching sad movies - "I can't believe Allie doesn't remember Noah!"

Going to single's parties - "All dressed up to meet people I don't want to meet"

Burning your ex's photos - "You wasted so many years of my life!!!!"

But here's the thing:

You don't need to be any of these things!

Valentine's Day is for some people, and for others, it's not.  It's okay to be single, not to have a date, not to get all caught up in the holiday.

Instead of feeding into the above "what you're supposed to feel" emotions, let's make a list of things you love about yourself.

I love myself because ______________________________.

I love this about my mind ___________________________.

I love this about my appearance ______________________.

I love this about my life _____________________________.

I love this about where I live _________________________.

I love that I can do this _____________________________.

I love to do this every day ___________________________.


Change your thoughts, and you'll change your world.

Valentine's Day shouldn't be anything that causes you anxiety, stress or depression, but if it does, and you need someone to talk to, we are ALWAYS here to listen.

Just give us a call at 613-238-3311

Remember to love yourself this Valentine's Day!

Battling Substance Abuse

This past weekend, I heard some terrible news.  A friend and co-worker from a previous job had passed from the effects of substance abuse.  Her heart became too weak to do its job, and she was gone.  A sweet, vibrant, funny girl, who always had a smile for you when you were talking to her, a hug for when you were down or got great news, and someone you could always talk to, no matter what.

But she, like many others, had a problem with substance abuse, and while she was trying to clean herself up, they overcame her and took her life.

My heart is heavy, as I think of her family, friends, co-workers, and her two little pups who she loved to the moon and back.

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If you have someone in your life who is dealing with a substance abuse problem, there is help out there for them, and for yourself.

But, how do you know if someone is dealing with substance abuse?  Sometimes, it can be more difficult to spot than on someone else.

Physical Signs Can Include:

• Bloodshot eyes, pupils larger or smaller than usual
• Changes in appetite or sleep patterns
• Sudden weight loss or gain
• Deterioration of physical appearance, personal grooming
• Unusal smells on breath, body or clothing
• Tremors, slurred speech, or impaired coordination

Behavioral Signs Can Include:

• Drop in attendance & performance at work or school
• Unexplained need for money or financial problems
• Engaging in secretive or suspicious behaviors
• Sudden change in friends, interest, activities

Psychological Signs Can Include:

• Change in personality or attitude
• Mood swings, irritability or outbursts
• Unusual hyperactivity, agitation or giddiness
• Lack of motivation, lethargy or lack of concentration
• Appears fearful, anxious, paranoid or becomes panicky for no reason

Not everyone will have these symptoms, and someone else may have all of them.  Substance abuse targets each individual differently.

How can you help someone who has fallen into the substance abuse trap?

• Talk to the person.  If you are comfortable talking to this person, do so.  Talk about your concerns, offer your help and support, and be non-judgmental and unbiased.  
• Don't attempt threats or bribes
• Provide resources, like the Distress Centre's phone number 613-238-3311 and information about rehabilitation for the person, but be prepared to hear that they don't want or need help.  This happens more often than not, but it's not your fault for offering.
• Research substance abuse rehabilitation programs in your area for them to help take the pressure off of them finding one.  Keep it to 3-5 choices, max.  
• Listen to them.  There is a reason that the substance has taken over the person's life.
• Don't hide, throw away or do the drugs or alcohol with the person.  
• Don't argue with the person when they are under the influence
• Do let them know that you are there to help them (if that is the case) when they are ready and willing.

Also, be sure to take care of yourself during this time - ensure that you too have support.

All of this being said, substance abuse comes from somewhere.  It is the age old question of "What came first, the chicken or the egg?".  Did the person start abusing because he/she is dealing with something in their lives they wanted to escape from?  Did she/he start abusing and then with the effects of abusing, came depression, anxiety, etc when they weren't using, so they had to use to "stay normal"?  Only the person abusing knows for sure.

While getting clean and sober is a scary feat for so many, there are hundreds of thousands - possibly millions who have done it, and stayed clean and sober for a very long time.

If you or someone you know needs to talk about their lives, their substance abuse, or are looking for community resources, we are here to listen and provide support.  You can call us at anytime of day or night at 613-238-3311.

I'd like to close this post off with a simple Rest In Peace for my friend whose smile and warm heart I will remember for a very long time.

(Name of deceased is withheld from this post)

Coping with a Breakup

Sometimes, it comes at you like a freight train, and other times it's comes completely unexpected.

A breakup in a relationship.

It may be your significant other, a friend, even a work relationship.  

Regardless of what the relationship is, it is now a "was" in your life.

Emotions are expected to be all over the place when it comes to a break up, depending on the circumstances.  There is no one perfect emotion that you are supposed to feel during this time.

Why does a breakup hurt so badly when you know in your head that it was for the best?  Simply because it signifies a loss - of commitment, hopes, aspirations and plans for the future.  

Someone coming out of an abusive relationship may lean towards the "when things were good they were great" times, and may not be able to see past the abuse, whether it was physical, mental, emotional or sexual.

A younger person may find heartache in losing the first person they truly cared for, or loved.  As parents, or older friends, we may tend to the "You're so young, you don't really know what love is".  That one person may have loved in their own way, that relationship, the person and the times together.  Love is a unique and wonderful experience, and is different for each person.

A couple that has been married for a number of years, were blessed with good fortune, children and that cliche "white picket fence", may find themselves at the end of their romance, and having just stayed together for their family's sake.  A split may be amicable, however, there is still the feeling of loss that can come through.

A work relationship may end on good or bad terms as well.  Something that you perhaps once saw yourself doing for a long time suddenly comes to a screeching halt, and you're left dazed.  Perhaps you decided to leave something behind and are walking away proud and feeling validated on your choices.

Someone may be completely blindsided in a breakup, not expecting their significant other to end things or walk away.  There maybe was another man/woman, an illness, an argument, or simply the person was not ready to honor their commitment.

As mentioned above, there are many emotions that can come through a breakup, including but not exclusive to:

• Anger
• Hurt
• Resentment
• Relief
• Grateful
• Happy
• Confused
• Depressed
• Liberated
• Sad

One person may experience all of these emotions, while another may only experience one or two.  It all depends on the person, the situation and the relationship itself.

So how can someone cope with a breakup?

In the age old way: time.

There is no magic spell to make going through a break up easier, whatever the case may be, even if you are the person doing the breaking up.

Be true to yourself during this time.  Do what makes your soul happy.  Love to dance?  Have a dance party with your closest friends.  Are you an outdoor-sy type?  Go skiing or snowshoeing or even for a long walk.

Share you feeling with your family or friends.  You're not alone - the majority of us have also gone through a break up or two in our lifetime and can be a great resource to lean on.

Allow yourself to feel whatever emotion comes your way, but please recognize if it starts to become dark thoughts, depression, thoughts of self harm or suicide come your way, please reach out and talk to someone.  If you aren't comfortable talking to someone you know the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region is always there for you, 24 hours a day.  

You aren't alone, and we'll listen to anything you want to talk about, even if it's just a memory of the relationship.

613-238-3311 any time of day or night.

Be well.

Whatever

It's one of those days when you have to force yourself out of bed, for either yourself, work, your kids, your pets, WHATEVER.

It's getting stuck in traffic on a Friday when there's never any traffic on Friday.  

It's forgetting your lunch on the kitchen counter, and not having any cash with you to get something else.

It's dealing with your depression and anxiety, and feeling like you're just in a rut with everything.

It's hearing that someone you care about has been diagnosed with a terrible disease.

It's wanting so much more from your life, but not understanding how to get there.

It's that fight you had with your friend/sibling/co-worker/partner that just was not even worth the arguing.

It's having lost something so very precious to you - a person, an object, a life, a job, WHATEVER.

It's knowing the holiday season is just around the corner and trying to muster up the strength to just get through it in one piece.

It's getting your paycheque and knowing that it's just not enough for your family to keep surviving on.

It's like feeling as if today would have been better without you in it.

It's WHATEVER is affecting your life, that you can reach out and talk to us.

We often blog about different mental health disorders, different coping mechanisms, what's going on in accordance to the time of year, etc.

Today, our blog post is just about one thing: having you know that WHATEVER you are dealing with in your life, we are here for you.

Our crisis line specialists are at our phone stations 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for WHATEVER you want to talk about.

In fact, this year, we'll have answered over 40,000 calls from people just like you who have been dealing with different issues in their lives that have been affecting their every day.  For some, it may be something that they've been dealing with for a very long time, and they know that we are always there to talk about WHATEVER with them, for others they may be a first time caller, looking for someone to turn to, and we are here.  Honestly, we cannot stress that enough - we are HERE for WHATEVER you need to talk about.  You don't even need to give us your name if you're feeling overwhelmed about calling, but just know that every call is confidential.

If the thought of calling us to talk is just not on the table for you right now, we encourage you to check out our website at www.dcottawa.on.ca to learn more about our services.  

And just remember that no matter what, we are here for you to talk about WHATEVER you need to talk about.

613-238-3311

Mental Health & Pets

A wag of a tail, or a purr, even a blub blub?  (that's supposed to be a fish...)

If you are fortunate enough to have a pet at home, you can understand the unconditional love that your little friend gives you on a daily basis.  

But can pets help with your mental health, depression, anxiety?  Some studies show that having a pet can reduce tension and elevate your endorphins, and improve your overall mental health well-being, when combined with proper treatment - medication, therapy, exercise and eating well.  Having a furry friend to take care of when suffering from mild to moderate depression may help you feel more at ease.

Unconditional love

Unlike relationships with family, friends, loved ones, co-workers, a relationship with a pet just allows you to experience your emotions without feeling judged or hurting someone's feelings.  Your pet will always be there to comfort you, as you are their "parent" in a sense, or their pack leader.

Responsibility

Taking care of a pet is a huge commitment, yes, and it may seem very difficult to grasp taking care of something else while you're hurting, but experts say that adding a responsibility to your schedule can help, giving you a sense of purpose.  Of course, if you're not feeling 100% ready to take on a pet, give it some more time before committing. 

Exercise

If you're like me, you love being a couch potato - because is there anything better than being curled up on the couch with a book or a movie?  Yes, there is!  Pets definitely help with getting exercise!  Dogs especially, because they need to be walked and played with.  Morning, afternoon and night - little walks - and in the meantime - lots of floor or outdoor playing!  A little physical activity will better yourself mentally and physically!

Companionship

Depression may cause some people to become isolated, pulling back from family, friends and loved ones.  If you have a pet at home, you're never alone, and that can make a huge difference.  Of course, if you are isolating yourself, taking time to talk to your family doctor or us here at the Distress Centre is a good way to cope as well.

Getting Out There

Having a pet can help push you to get more social contact.  You won't find too many people who won't want to pet your puppy or talk to you at the dog park, or while waiting at the vet with your cat, etc.  Pet owners love to talk about their pets!


Remember, if you're not ready to get a pet just yet, take time to think about it.  Pets do cost roughly $1500/year to take care of between food and vet bills and other expenses, so it is a commitment.  However, if you're feeling ready to take on a pet, you can rescue one from the Ottawa Humane Society, or you can look at a breeder.  Do your research as to what you want in a pet, and don't be shy to ask employees at a pet store or friends for their advice and best practices.  

As we always like to close our posts off the same way, we are here for you, 24/7 if you need someone to turn to, to talk to, or just some support.  613-238-3311 anytime of day or night.

Calling All Divas for DIVA DAY!

Imagine a day to yourself, or with your BFF, sister, mom, aunt, whichever lady in your life, at the beautiful Nordik Spa & Nature.

Submerge yourself into the Nordic baths, indulge in the steam room, get toasty in the sauna.

But that's not all what Diva Day, in support of the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region is about!

We're excited that our ladies only fundraiser is just around the corner on Sunday, October 20th, from 1-5pm.

Divas in attendance will not only get to experience Nordik's beautiful grounds, and baths, etc, but will also receive the following:

Mini Makeover

If you ever watch Dragon's Den, you may remember a women named Andi Marcus who developed a 6-in-1 makeup and named it Mistura!  For those in need of a makeup with no fuss, no muss, Mistura's makeup will condense your makeup routine to seconds instead of minutes!  The Mistura Beauties will be providing free mini-makeovers for all of our Divas!  

Mini Manicure

Life is too short for boring nails!  That's what our manicure gurus, Koku Nail Bar, says!  The latest & greatest addition to St Laurent Shopping Centre, Koku Nails is there to transform your nails in 11 minutes, since we all don't have the time for that hour long mani!  Express manicures at Koku are their trademark service, but they offer that and SO much more!  Koku nail masters will be doing express manicures for every Diva!

Mini Facial

Before your makeover, indulge in a mini facial by Arbonne rep Juliann!  A fresh feeling that will leave your face feeling supple and smooth, while cleansing your pores, and minimizing your dead skin cells.  Each Diva will feel fresh and invigorated with a mini facial by Juliann and Arbonne!

Mini Tarot Card Reading

Do you have questions that you want answered?  Divas will each receive a mini tarot card reading by Suzanne Duc, which will provide you with enlightenment and a renewed sense of purpose in managing your future - plus it's just so cool!  Suzanne has over 10 years of experience with Tarot & Astrology.

Not only will the Divas enjoy everything you just read about, but there will be treats all afternoon, with thanks to the Cruz Family, as well as coffee, tea and herbal tea.

PLUS!  Divas can enter to win fabulous prizes including mall gift cards, jewelry, gift baskets and more!

At last, but most certainly not least, each Diva will be going home with a gift bag full of amazing local and national products!

DAVIDsTEA

BARONESS CHOCOLATES

VITAMIN WATER

PLANET BOTANIX

STRIDE GUM

...and more!

Thank you in huge part to our Title Sponsor, Paul Rushforth Real Estate!  Did you know that Paul & his team of agents have won countless business awards, for their professional services and amount of homes sold in a year?  Paul's team excels in buying and selling homes, and also provides a "your home sold guaranteed" agreement so that you don't end up owning two homes at the same time!  Paul also hosts a radio show on Saturdays all about home ownership, selling, buying, and everything in between.  As if he couldn't be busier, Paul is also the co-host of the show "All For Nothing?" on the W Network!  Paul and his team dedicate and donate time and funds to local not for profit organizations and charities year round, including the Distress Centre - to that we say THANK YOU!

 

Do you really need any more reason to come to Diva Day and support the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region?  

Tickets are selling quickly, so don't delay!  Call and buy your tickets now at 613-238-1089 x 222!  Tickets are $100 each, and we accept Visa, Mastercard, AMEX over the phone.

We are so looking forward to seeing you at Diva Day!  If you have any questions about the event, please call Leslie at 613-238-1089 x 222 or via email lscott @ dcottawa.on.ca

Back To School - College and University

Their room is packed into boxes in the car, they've bid farewell to their hometown, and are ready to start their post-secondary career in the field that they feel they want to venture into.  Or maybe they're staying at home to attend the closest college/university and do a daily commute.

Regardless of their choice, your child has now become a young adult, and is taking baby steps into the world of college & university.

I can still remember my parents dropping me off at Loyalist College in Belleville - the furthest I was willing to go away, and I was going to be living in residence with 5 other girls I had never met before, and going to this school, where I knew a total of 2 people.  Nervous?  You bet.  Best two years of my school career?  Absolutely.  (In fact, it's where I met my now spouse!)

That first month where your student is learning their way around campus, what studying is REALLY like, how to cook for themselves, how important sleep really is, where they need to concentrate, how to make new friends, and most importantly, how to succeed in school.

But with all of those things, can come stressful times.  Anxiety, depression, stress come very easily to post-secondary students as they are learning the way of the world.  OSAP, student loans, finances, how to control money - it can send an 18 year old spinning out of control.  I saw many students in my college years, spending their OSAP on stereos, televisions and unfortunately, at the bars.  Bullying can also continue into the post-secondary stage, making it feel like it's a never-ending cycle.

Some students find themselves enjoying the party scene of college/uni more than classes, and end up missing classes, sleeping in class, and watching their GPA drop, and drop quickly.

Then come mid-terms & exams.  This is possibly one of the most stressful times for a college/uni student, as quite often, their mark on the exam is worth 50% or more of their final grade.  It is not uncommon to see students at their breaking point during exam time, to see them get sick, depressed, and not eat well, and some even find themselves extremely depressed and end up with suicidal ideations.

How can you as a parent, help your child through their post-secondary school?  

• Schedule weekly phone calls (or weekly dates if they're at home) to stay connected
• Teach them how to cook healthy meals
• Teach them how to do their laundry
• Show them how to manage their money through a budget, how to pay bills, how to properly use a credit card (consider one with a small credit limit of $500)
• Explain how to manage their stress (we're here 24/7 for your students to call!)
• Talk about a healthy lifestyle that doesn't involve substance abuse
• Go and visit!  They'll be so proud to show you around campus and their classrooms.
• Listen.  You'll be able to see the emotions your child is dealing with, and listening without judgement will help your student get their feelings under control.

If your student is having problems with the course they are taking, it's not a bad thing.  It can simply mean their passion isn't in that area of focus.  They can work with a school liaison to find the right course for them.

...pat yourself on the back parents, you've gotten your child out of elementary, middle and high school and into their post-secondary education!  (or, into the work world!).  This can also be difficult on you, emotionally, mentally and financially.  Be sure that you have a good support system in your life as well, as you will also be dealing with your own stuff.  

As always, don't forget that we are here, for you and your post-secondary students, for whatever you're dealing with.  We're here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, no matter what, simply by calling 613-238-3311.

Best wishes for this school year, to all of the students out there!

Back To School - High Schoolers

Whether you have a "minor niner" starting high school or one entering into Grade 12, high school is four years of your child's life, that are some of the most emotional, difficult and overwhelming years.

Grade 9

The "Minor Niners" year.  Do you remember the feeling of walking into the large high school, feeling completely lost and nervous about where you locker is, how to find your classroom, where the cafeteria is, if you'd be picked on by an older student?  Those feelings are still around today for new ninth graders, but with a lot more concerning issues, like bullying, fitting in, sexual orientation and more.

One of the easiest ways for a ninth grader to get started, is to stick with someone they know.  Often, students will venture into a high school with someone they've already been going to school with for most or at least part of their lives.  Strength in numbers!  Your student will be able to have that friend closeby for assistance, or even just to have someone to talk to, as they meet new friends.

Ensuring that your child is safe & happy is one of the most logical concerns a parent can have.  Does the school have a zero tolerance for bullying?  Is your child someone who is friendly to everyone, or are they a potential bully themselves?  Are they involved in clubs or sports?  These are all excellent questions to keep in mind and to talk to you kids about.

Grade 10 

Not at the bottom of the food chain anymore, but not at the very top either.  Students in grade 10 are starting to know what they like and what they don't when it comes to subjects, and will definitely have a few choices for classes and electives.  Sitting down with your student to hash out details of each class together is a great way to learn more about what your high schooler is loving, and ensuring that they are meeting the school's requirements for graduation in a couple of years.  

All of the same concerns listed above can follow your child through their high school career.  Don't assume all of that ends in the 9th grade.

Grade 11

Your student is at the time in their high school career where they are going to be starting to think of post-secondary school or a career.  Now is an excellent time to listen to their hopes for their future, and how you can help them get there.   There comes a bit more expectation and pressure in the 11th grade, with making sure they stay on top of their studies to ensure good grades for college or university.  

This is also one of the times in your students life, where they're falling in love for the first time.  You may think "Oh she/he is just too young to feel that way!" but truth be told, we all had a first love in high school, and if you are honest with yourself, you'll remember the feelings that come with it.  Having the good old "Safe Sex" conversation with your child when they are in their first serious relationship can help you (and them) be more prepared for what can happen.  You'll most likely get a lot of eyerolling and the "Mommmmmm" or "Daaaaaaaaad" "I knoooooooowwwww", but believe me, they will care that you took the time to talk to them.  They will have their hearts broken, and there will be tears, so letting them know you are there, no matter what happens, will help them through tough times.

Grade 12

Top of the totem pole!  College, university or the work world are steps away from your almost graduate.  Finishing up missing credits, college applications, resume building - it's a very, VERY stressful time for your student.  You will invariably see changes in your child's demeanor, so taking time to sit down and talk about everything will help you both through it. 

Now is also the time where your student is just on the brink of being legal age (if in Ontario) and there will be parties, and dances, and more parties, and prom.  Taking time to talk about their responsibilities as a young adult are key, and setting ground rules.  They'll most likely be driving out late with friends now, so talking about being safe while driving to avoid tragedy is a must.

At the end of the day, ensuring that you are understanding and willing to listen to your student's anxiety, stress, depression, happy time, excitable moments, proms, dances, math tests, broken hearts, biology experiments gone awry, and simply being there for your student, is the most important thing. 

Students will be going through a slew of emotions over these 4 years and can easily pick up the phone and call the Distress Centre.  It's free, confidential, and while you may not necessarily know that they've called us, you can rest assured that our fully trained volunteers are here to provide support and listen.  Put our number in the hands of your student before this school year starts, and together we can get through another school year!  613-238-3311 - any time of day or night, we're here.

Guest Post - Yoga for Depression

Yoga for … Depression?

Wherever you are. Whatever you’re doing. Just for a moment, be right here. Put down the cell phone. Turn off the music. Close your door. Open a window.

Breathe with me.

No really, I mean it.

Start tuning into your breath. Just notice. Gradually start to slow down your breath. Begin breathing through your nose. Gently deepen your inhale, and lengthen your exhale. Close your eyes. Stay here for a while.

Place your hand on your belly. Feel your belly expand on the inhale and draw in on the exhale. Nice. And. Slow. In 2-3-4. Out 2-3-4-5. Whatever feels comfortable and natural, do that. Try five more rounds of inhales and exhales.

Pause. Notice. How do you feel?

This is the power of Yoga. And this is just the beginning.

I know yoga. I also know depression. I have faced it. I have lived in the fog. I have stared up from the bottom of that dark, empty, seemingly endless black hole. And I’ve climbed back up, towards that tiny crack that lets the light in.

Depression is not a straight line. Life is not a straight line. The honest truth: if life was a straight line (think ‘flat line’), we’d be dead.

So what can we do? Find peace in our minds and our lives? Accept the ups and downs? Learn to truly live through them, even thrive through them? Sounds about right. Easy? No. Worth it? YES.

One thing I know for sure is that nothing, nothing is permanent … the good stuff, the bad stuff, the in between stuff. We are inherently resilient. We have great capacity to rewire, change, adapt and grow. It’s never too late. The best part? We have so much more power than we think, and we already have everything we need. Yoga simply serves as a powerful tool that can help us access this.

Pain x Resistance = Suffering

Depression (and anxiety) is more than a mood disorder. It’s a universal human experience and more common than we’d like to admit, let alone talk about. Sometimes life is too much, too big, too difficult, too painful to bear. Pain, it’s inevitable. Even those who do not claim to be depressed still find countless ways to tune out, numb out, and shut out. Pick your poison. We all do it, to varying degrees. Suffering, though, this can be optional.

Yoga heals.

This mantra found it’s way into my life following a Traumatic Brain Injury, and helps me to navigate the tumultuous journey through recovery, rehab, and acceptance. It’s an ongoing journey (life is not a straight line!), but one that is hardly recognizable from that day yoga found its way into my life. Yoga awakened an ability to heal … myself. A capacity we all share.

It’s the connection of mind AND body. This is our way through.

Yoga is much more than a series of physical postures and pretty poses. You do not have to be bendy, strong, or in perfect health to do yoga. Quite the opposite! However, for most of us (myself included), this is how we first see yoga.

Equally important as physical yoga (and some would argue more so), are the breathing practices, mindfulness, restorative postures, and meditative elements of yoga.

Time. Practice. Awareness. Possibility.

While I was in the Rehab Hospital following my TBI in 2011, yoga called to me. I got permission to leave the hospital a few mornings a week and attend a yoga class before my various daily therapies. This was a critical turning point. In a place where I felt surrounded by closed doors, a window of possibility opened.

Awareness. This makes all the difference.

The obvious initial benefit was that yoga helped me to manage my pain, my mood, my sleep. The benefits began to compound. I started to see many other powerful changes as a result of my practice.

The easy AND the hard part: No pressure. Just practice.

I made a personal commitment to practice in any way, for any length of time, at least 3x a week. I scheduled it in my calendar. I had my therapists hold me accountable. I dragged myself out of bed or off the couch to practice. I stumbled. I fell off the wagon. I found my way back. Remember: it’s never a straight line. It takes time to build new pathways, new habits.

Want to see for yourself? I hope so. Experiencing this in your own body, your own mind, is truly the only way to really get it. To feel it for yourself.

And. It. Takes. Practice.

No pill or treatment of any kind will result in lasting change if it isn’t taken or            done regularly.

I want to help.

The yoga community is filled with incredible people who want to be of service, to guide you into a practice, to be part of your healing journey. If introducing yoga into your life seems overwhelming, confusing, intimidating. You are not alone. If going to a public yoga class doesn’t feel quite right, quite yet, you are not alone. I’m here to tell you there are so many options!

In my next post, I will provide you with four foundational practices that you can incorporate into your life, immediately.

Get curious. Trust me. You will not regret it.

xo Kate

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Kate Durie
Registered Yoga Teacher, Blissologist, Yoga Therapist (in progress)

Kate is a Registered Yoga Teacher, and has trained under renowned yogi and Blissologist, Eoin Finn. Kate is currently in training to become a Yoga Therapist, specializing in yoga for chronic pain, depression, anxiety, and other various conditions. As a Traumatic Brain Injury survivor, Kate understands first hand how Yoga is more than a series of asanas. Yoga heals. With every breath, every movement, every intention, yoga is transformative.

Connect with Kate on...
Twitter & Instagram: @kateudurie

Facebook: /kateunderhilldurie

www.kateandsuz.com

www.katedurie.com (coming soon)

Email me: kateudurie@gmail.com

Back To School - Littles

The time has finally (or maybe, too quickly) arrived - your baby is heading off to Kindergarten!  

As you do your shopping together, for backpacks, lunch kits, crayons, new clothes and more, your child starts to ask questions about what Kindergarten will be like.

"Will my teacher like me?"
"Will I make new friends?"
"When do I take a nap?"
"Who makes my lunch?"
"How do I go to the bathroom?"
"How will I know what bus to get on?"
"What if my teacher forgets about at recess?"
"How can I talk to you when I'm sad?"
"What if nobody likes me?"
"What if someone calls me names?"

...and the heart-wrenching moment for any parent "Do I have to go?  Can't I stay at home with you?"

Kindergarten is an immense change for your child, even if they've been going to a pre-school or daycare.  A new routine and people can be very overwhelming for your little one - as well as yourself.  School stress can occur at any age, especially at an early age.

Preparing your child for Kindergarten may take more than the week before.  There will be an adjustment period, where your child is more fatigued, and more irritable, as the days are more challenging with learning to read, write, and learning new social skills with friends they've just met.  They're learning how to cope with aggression, and manage their emotions (no, you can't hit Bobby, same rules as at home, use your indoor voice, it's okay to be sad, etc).

Does your child's new school have an "Introduction to Kindergarten Day/Program"?  It's a program where your child can take the bus (if applicable) with a parent to see what it's like, then spend a few hours getting to see the classroom, meet the teacher and other kids in their class, and absorb their environment.  Then, they take the bus back home to see how they get on the bus after school.  It's a great day to help calm their little minds, and big worries.

If your child's school doesn't have this program, inquire about taking your child into the school the week before.  Most teachers are already in their classrooms a week before, and would probably just love to meet your child one-on-one.  

Involve your child in the shopping aspect of getting ready.  What clothes will make your child the most comfortable.  Dresses for little girls are adorable, but are they play-appropriate?   Are there lots of buttons on their pants?  This can be a tricky thing when having to use the bathroom at a new place, and may cause accidents.  Do you need to send a spare change of clothes in case of an accident, paint droppings or juice spillage?  Leggings for little girls are great and easy to play in, change into, etc.  Track pants or elastic waistbands are perfect for little boys who sometimes just don't have the time to worry about buttons and zippers!  

Celebrate your child going into this new milestone!  Maybe have a nice dinner the night before school starts with their favorite meal to celebrate what a big boy/girl they've become - or celebrate after the first day or week is done!

Consider getting your child on an earlier bedtime routine.  Summer months have us keeping our children up later than normal, so setting a new routine for school will help with potential fatigue.  And hey, what does a nap here and there hurt?  

Finally, allow yourself to feel what you feel.  Having your child head off for their first year of school can bring forth many emotions for you, the parent, as well.  You are most likely overjoyed that you've gotten them this far, but are afraid to send them off into the school world.  You may feel like your child is too young, or too shy, or too little to go to JK, or that they may be the victim of bullying.  You may feel anxiety about your child being in the care of another.  These are all normal emotions & feelings.  Rest assured that you're not alone.  

Is there a Parent Council you can join to ensure that your little student is being taken care of properly?  Does your child have an agenda that the teacher signs and sends home daily?  Ask your child about their day.  Avoid the "What did you do at school today" question, as you'll often get the "I forget" answer, as they have a busy day, every day.  Consider asking questions like "What did you paint today?"  "What new songs did you learn?"  "Did you fall asleep during naptime today?" "Did you have a nice day with your friends?"  Showing your child that you're interested in their day will ease their anxiety, and will help you feel as ease as well, learning about their day.

As September is just a few weeks away, know that we are here for you to talk to.  Sending your child off to school is a whirlwind of emotions, and we're here to provide support to you.  613-238-3311, anytime of day or night, we're here.

Best of luck to your littles, heading off to JK this year!

Take Care of You, Too!

If you're a caregiver of sorts, or a family member of someone who is suffering from a disorder or illness (mental, physical, psycological) you may have in your caregiving experienced what is known as "Compassion Fatigue".

Compassion Fatigue is simply that - exhaustion that has escalated from being a caregiver in someone's life.  Compassion comes from within, and while not everyone will experience Compassion Fatigue or "Secondary Trauma Stress - STS", those who do can feel the effects in their home life, work life, and personal life.

What does Compassion Fatigue look/feel like?  In everyone, it's different, as it is a stress, and stress is not the same for each individual.  There is typically a negative effect on said person's emotions, and they reach a point where there is little to no desire to continue assisting those they have been.

Symptoms of Compassion Fatigure can include (but are not limited to):

• "Bottled up" emotions
• Voicing excessive complaints
• Isolation from others
• Excessive blaming of others
• Complusive behaviors (overspending, overeating, gambling, etc)
• Poor hygenine
• Chronic physical ailments (colds, flus, etc)
• Depression
• Fatigue (tired, sleeping longer than normal)
• Unfocused
• Angers easily about simple tasks
• Cries easily about simple tasks
• Lack of interest around hobbies and activities that once loved

So how can caregivers get through and even prevent Compassion Fatigue?  There are many ways, and each individual will have to work with themselves to find out what works best. 

One way is to maintain a diverse of your own social support through family, friends, colleagues and even pets, which helps promote a positive state of mind. 

Discovering your own stress levels, and your triggers can also be helpful. 

Using your breathing to calm your stress levels.  Deep, consistent, steady breaths help the mind flow properly, and can aid in deceasing stress.

Get enough sleep.  Proper sleep (6-8 hours a night for adults) is extremely important.  When you're physically tired, as well as mentally exhausted, everything can seem like a task and a half.

Gaining perspective on what you do and do not have control over is key.  Does the person you are caring for have a terminal illness?  Does he or she have a mental illness that they have been and will be suffering from for the rest of their lives?  These things are out of your control. 

Decide what is most important in your life.  Try making a list of what you need in your life to get you through your stressful times (positive things) and a list of the things that could stand a change.  Analyse this list with someone you trust.

Encourage dialogue daily.  Talking about your stress can help vent the negative feelings.

If you find yourself in a deep state of Compassion Fatigue, we are here for you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Simply pick up the phone and speak to one of our amazing volunteers at 613-238-3311.

Compassion Fatigue is nothing to be ashamed of!  Call us today to get support during this difficult time.