Dealing with Tragedy & Traumatic Events

Today, Ottawa has lost its innocence of being a city where nothing happens.

Upon arriving to work today, I hear of a shooting at the Canadian War Memorial.  Followed closely by another shooting outside the Peace Tower.

My first thoughts were with my spouse, my sister in law, and my brother in law, who all were downtown today for work and school.  My thoughts went there, and then to "What is going on in Ottawa?!"

There is nothing that can prepare us for a tragedy and traumatic event such as what we are experiencing today.

Fear.

Anxiety.

Stress.

Sadness.

Anger.

These are all emotions that we can expect to feel as these events unfold.  We are all glued to reports, radio & television, waiting to hear that it's over and that the shooters have been caught, or taken down.

These emotions are not something to be ashamed of, or something to hide.  These are normal feelings and taking time to acknowledge how you feel will help with the healing process.

Shock is another feeling that many will experience.  Ottawa is known as an otherwise sleepy, political city, and the thought "Things like this do not happen here" are being spoken repeatedly.  Shock symptoms can include:

• Decrease in blood pressure
• Rapid or weak pulse
• Heart fluttering
• Confusion
• Cool, clammy skin
• Rapid & shallow breathing
• Anxiety
• Lightheadedness

Be sure to alert someone if you are feeling any of these symptoms.

Many parents are posing the question "How do I explain this to my children?"  It's not going to be easy, and each parent will do this in their own way.  There is no "best way" to explain to your children that there was multiple shootings today, but with these tips, you may find your own way to explain:

• Sit your child down in a spot where they are comfortable
• Let them know that you & your family are safe
• Allow your child/ren to ask questions when they need to
• Stay clear of unnecessary details
• Explain that it's okay to feel different emotions
• Encourage them to talk to you when they are feeling something

We are all in this together, and leaning on each other in tough times is key.

There is something to be said on how a tragedy can bring a community closer together, and we can know that Ottawa bands together in this tragic time.

Please know that we are here for you 24/7, no matter what.

Call us. 613-238-3311

Take Care of You, Too!

If you're a caregiver of sorts, or a family member of someone who is suffering from a disorder or illness (mental, physical, psycological) you may have in your caregiving experienced what is known as "Compassion Fatigue".

Compassion Fatigue is simply that - exhaustion that has escalated from being a caregiver in someone's life.  Compassion comes from within, and while not everyone will experience Compassion Fatigue or "Secondary Trauma Stress - STS", those who do can feel the effects in their home life, work life, and personal life.

What does Compassion Fatigue look/feel like?  In everyone, it's different, as it is a stress, and stress is not the same for each individual.  There is typically a negative effect on said person's emotions, and they reach a point where there is little to no desire to continue assisting those they have been.

Symptoms of Compassion Fatigure can include (but are not limited to):

• "Bottled up" emotions
• Voicing excessive complaints
• Isolation from others
• Excessive blaming of others
• Complusive behaviors (overspending, overeating, gambling, etc)
• Poor hygenine
• Chronic physical ailments (colds, flus, etc)
• Depression
• Fatigue (tired, sleeping longer than normal)
• Unfocused
• Angers easily about simple tasks
• Cries easily about simple tasks
• Lack of interest around hobbies and activities that once loved

So how can caregivers get through and even prevent Compassion Fatigue?  There are many ways, and each individual will have to work with themselves to find out what works best. 

One way is to maintain a diverse of your own social support through family, friends, colleagues and even pets, which helps promote a positive state of mind. 

Discovering your own stress levels, and your triggers can also be helpful. 

Using your breathing to calm your stress levels.  Deep, consistent, steady breaths help the mind flow properly, and can aid in deceasing stress.

Get enough sleep.  Proper sleep (6-8 hours a night for adults) is extremely important.  When you're physically tired, as well as mentally exhausted, everything can seem like a task and a half.

Gaining perspective on what you do and do not have control over is key.  Does the person you are caring for have a terminal illness?  Does he or she have a mental illness that they have been and will be suffering from for the rest of their lives?  These things are out of your control. 

Decide what is most important in your life.  Try making a list of what you need in your life to get you through your stressful times (positive things) and a list of the things that could stand a change.  Analyse this list with someone you trust.

Encourage dialogue daily.  Talking about your stress can help vent the negative feelings.

If you find yourself in a deep state of Compassion Fatigue, we are here for you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Simply pick up the phone and speak to one of our amazing volunteers at 613-238-3311.

Compassion Fatigue is nothing to be ashamed of!  Call us today to get support during this difficult time.