Summer Depression

Summer Depression

June has arrived. Nice weather, kids excited to be out of school for the summer, everyone is packing up their towels and umbrellas for the beach, and you might not be feeling so great about any of this.

You might feel guilty that while it seems to be the most beautiful time of the year and you “should” be enjoying some fun in the sun, you are instead feeling down and depressed. This can happen for a multitude of reasons and you are not alone!  Here is some information about summer depression and what you can do about it.

Causes of Summer Depression

Disrupted Schedules:  It is quite easy to stick to a daily routine throughout fall, winter and spring. With the daylight hours extended in the summer, kids home from school and summer vacations disrupting work, sleep and eating habits, being thrown off your schedule during the summer can most definitely have a negative impact on your mental health.

Disrupted Budget:  Summer can be expensive! The allure of time spent eating and drinking with friends on a patio on a nice evening in July is strong but the bills can add up. Not to mention summer vacations can be expensive, and if you are planning to send the kids to summer camp or have to pay for childcare, having your budget disrupted can cause extra stress.

Heat: Summers in Ottawa, much like winters in Ottawa, can bring extreme weather that is hard to handle.  If you don’t have air conditioning, sleeping can become difficult in the extreme humidity and cooking over a hot stove can be unbearable. If you do have air conditioning, you might find yourself becoming a bit too cozy in the comfort of your cooled living room and could start isolating or avoiding going out into the heat or missing out on activities you used to enjoy that you are no longer engaging in due to the weather.

Body Image: Hot weather and outdoor summer activities often call for more exposing clothing which might have you feeling self-conscious about your body. With social media a major part of our lives, it’s really easy to see pictures of your friends seemingly having a great time in their bathing suits at the beach while you are left feeling down and out by your body. Feeling bad about your body contributes to your mental health and may prevent you from doing activities you could find or used to find to be really fun.

Solutions

Consistency: Keeping your circadian rhythm in check helps with keeping emotions regulated. Even with extended day light hours, try to keep your sleep schedule consistent throughout the summer. Make use of black out curtains to ward off daylight if needed.

Prepare your wallet: If you know that you will be taking time off work this summer or paying to send the kids to daycare or camp, start preparing by putting a little bit of money away in the early months of the year. This will help lessen your financial strain come summer time and you will be more able to enjoy the summer without worrying about your bank account. Try to pick activities that you know you will enjoy, rather than ones you feel obligated to partake in. You can also make use of less expensive activities like local splash pads to have fun and beat the heat!

Feel good in your skin: Wearing more exposing clothes in the summer can be intimidating but it can also be fun to find new pieces that accentuate the parts of your body that you do like. Summertime clothes are often more colourful and flowing than warmer clothes and for women, a maxi skirt or dress is comfortable, cool and easily hides things you might not want to be seen around the beach!

Get Help: If you feel your summertime blues are worsening or not going away, please contact your doctor for help. The Distress Centre is also available 24/7 and we are more than happy to listen and provide support not only during the summer but all year round!

Resources:

http://www.webmd.com/depression/summer-depression?page=2

http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20719721,00.html/more

 

Chocolate Affair Gala

It's that time of year again, where indulging in everything CHOCOLATE is more than okay with us!

Join us on April 28, 2016 at the Shaw Centre/Centre Shaw for our 9th annual Chocolate Affair Gala!  You do not want to miss out on the most delicious event you'll ever attend.  Tickets are on sale now!  Get in on the Early Bird pricing from now until February 29th and save on your tickets.  

Our event boasts an amazing night of everything chocolate from your first bite of chocolate at the door to a four-course chocolate infused dinner, delicious treats from local chocolatiers, chocolate fondue and scrumptious morsels of chocolate all evening long.  Chocolatiers include Hummingbird Chocolate Maker,CocoHari, JoJo CoCo, Steeped Tea with Shelly, Cococo Chocolaterie Bernard Callebaut and more!  Special guest, Megan Schellenberg as our keynote speaker.

Sponsored in part by the Shaw Centre, our Gala will take place in the gorgeous Trillium Ballroom, overlooking downtown Ottawa and all its beauty.  MAJIC 100's Sarah Freemark will grace our stage with her prescence as our Emcee for the evening.

We can't wait to share a night of pure chocolate indulgence with you again this year!  Get your tickets early, this event WILL sell out!  Eating chocolate for charity?  Amazing.  Buy your tickets here or call 613-238-1089 x 222!

Businesses interested in joining our Chocolate Affair Gala can use the contact information at the bottom of this page.

Don't delay!  Tickets are already 1/2 sold!

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'Tis The Season

                     

Silver bells...silver bells...

It's Christmastime in the city!

As Ottawa woke up to its first snowfall yesterday morning, it seemed like everyone was A) making appointments to get their snow tires on and B) realizing that Christmas was just a month away!

And then for some, C kicks in, which sounds very similar to B, but in a different context.

C) Realizing that Christmas is just...a month...away....

It can be overwhelming to think that there's just a month till the biggest holiday of the year.  

Shopping.  Wrapping.  Baking.  Parties.  Kid's Concerts.  Santa Visits.  Family.  

And for others it can mean or even result in stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness & fear.

There's something to be said for balance over the holiday season, and while it doesn't always seem easy, we've complied a few ideas that can help keep your Christmas spirit up, and your stress level lowered.

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1) Stay Active!  We aren't saying that you need to hit up bootcamp or the gym every day for the entire month, but hey, if you can squeeze in a cardio session, a brisk walk outside with a friend, or even a workout at home of sorts, by all means, this will keep your heart rate up in a good way!  If you have kids, get them involved too.  You can have them come up with a great 30 minute workout that you can all do together.  Or if a run on the treadmill solo will make you calmer, you are entitled to that time too.

2) Watch Family Favorites!  This is something that so many of us love to do!  Is there a Christmas movie that warms your heart, or makes you laugh or brings you back to your childhood, watching your favorites can lift your spirit more than you know!  (My favorite?  Garfield Christmas)

3) Volunteer!  You may be thinking "Come on lady, we just talked about being busy, how on earth am I going to find time to volunteer?!"  Someone once told me that volunteering is the most rewarding experience they could ever ask for, for themselves and their family.  If you can find the time, there are so many great places around our city that you could volunteer at which are completely worthwhile!  Between fundraising for the Salvation Army with their Kettle Bell campaign, to Toy Mountain, to homeless shelter, or the food bank, there are definitely many places that you and/or your family could help out at this year.  If you're looking for a long term commitment for the new year, the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region are always looking for volunteers!

4) Gift to Others!  One of the best things about Christmas is not receiving gifts, but giving gifts to others.  Giving gifts to others is a wonderful way to show your appreciation for those you care for or are special to you.  You don’t need to go out and spend hundreds of dollars. Remember, it really is the thought that counts and people will appreciate small gifts because it shows you have thought about them.  When you give some thought to your gift, your friend or loved one will feel special and loved. This will then flow onto you feeling warm and positive from giving to someone you care about.  You could also talk with those around you who you celebrate with an talk about supporting a charity you all believe in rather than exchanging gifts.  

5) Appreciate!  Taking a moment to sit back with a coffee or hot chocolate in hand, and take in the wonder of the holidays can bring your soul much needed peace.  Whenever you have a stressful moment or day, taking time to focus on the good around you will instantly lift your spirits.  If this is a Christmas where you've recently experienced a loss, don't worry about trying to make it a perfect holiday.  Take your time to grieve your loss and remember them on the holidays.  

The joy of the holidays is within your heart, and with mindfulness, you just may be able to feel it all around you.  

If you don't already know this, the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region is open 24/7, and that includes every single day over the holidays - Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years...our phone lines always remain open.  So if you need someone to talk to, we'll be here waiting.  

613-238-3311

We are wishing you all a happy & joyful month leading up to Christmas!!

*Editor's note: we are aware of the many holidays celebrated around this time period including Hanukkah, Kwanza & those who simply do not celebrate anything.  The Distress Centre is non denominational and wishes everyone to enjoy the next month.

One Year Later

A year ago today, Ottawa lost its innocence with an attack on Parliament Hill, and the tragic & fatal shooting of Cpl. Nathan Cirillo at the National War Memorial.

Ottawa was scared.

Confused.  Angry.  Filled with anxiety.  Hurt.

We shook, cried, screamed and had troubles breathing.

In a single morning, Ottawa changed...and quite possibly, you changed as well.

Last year, we wrote about how to deal with tragedy and traumatic events.  These messages still ring true today as we remain #OttawaStrong one year later.

Today, there are many reminders of this tragedy from all media sources, Facebook friends, Twitter followers.  It's nearly impossible to avoid, and this may be difficult to remember.

Some may feel like they don't want to go to work today, that another targeted event may happen. Having these feelings of vulnerability are normal when a tragedy has affected you.  However, if the feelings are too strong, too much to handle or you don't know how to move forward, this is something that should be addressed, as you may be suffering from PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder) or secondary trauma stress.

There are three main types of PTSD or secondary trauma stresssymptoms and they can arise suddenly, gradually, or come and go over time:

• Re-experiencing the traumatic event
• Avoiding reminders of the trauma
• Increased anxiety and emotional arousal

If you are experiencing any of these feelings, we encourage you to reach out for support.  We have amazing people on our phone lines who are there to speak with you and help you through any emotions you may be experiencing.

As the city prepares for a ceremony at the National War Memorial today to honor Cpl. Nathan Cirillo, as well as Sergeant at Arms (former) Kevin Vickers, who was successful in taking down the shooter, and all First Responders, there is an increased police presence to be sure that our city and country are indeed safe.

Today may not be easy for you, or maybe you'll be the shoulder someone else leans on.  Regardless of which side of the page you're on, know that we are all in this together.

And if you happen to be near an Ottawa Police Officer, RCMP, or a member of the Canadian Military, consider taking a moment to personally thank them for everything they do.  

We are here all day & night for you to talk to if you need us.  Pass along our phone number to anyone who may need it.

613-238-3311

Last year's CTV Morning Live 

Appearance here

Back To School Blues

The first sighting happened this morning as I took a walk with my dog before leaving for work.

I honestly couldn't believe my eyes.  It couldn't possibly be...could it?  

As I walked a little further, it came clear into my vision that what I was seeing from afar, was truly what I thought it was.

A school bus.

How is it that summer went by so quickly, that it has become "back to school" time already?

Many adults, with or without children, have a feeling of nostalgia when September rolls around.  After years & years of elementary, high school and post secondary education, you almost expect that butterfly feeling in your stomach that comes in September.  You remember certain school years, heading off to college or university, and just what that first day of school felt like.

For parents, it may be a time of joy sending their kids back (Hello, Staples commercials "It's the most wonderful time of the year!") and for others, there may be sadness, or the Back To School Blues.  It may be difficult watching your children grow up before your eyes, sending them into higher grades, hoping that they are safe & learning, hope that they aren't being bullied, hoping they aren't the bully, wanting them to experience sports, and science, math & drama.

For students of any age, there can be excitement, let down of having to go back, anxiety, fear, stress, and many other emotions.  While someone can say "You'll be FINE!"  a million times over, the emotions that students feel are very real.  

If your child (4 years old or 20 years old) is experiencing some concerning emotions about school, there are some great ways to help them through it.

• Help them find an activity that they are passionate about when it comes to school.  Is it soccer?  Is it art?  Maybe they have a passion for photography and being on the Yearbook Committee would be ideal.  Whatever the passion is, encourage them to follow it!

• Check in daily with them, with open ended questions, ex: "Tell me about your day" or "What did you focus on in geography today" or "Tell me the hardest part of your day, and then tell me the best part of your day".  Using open ended questions will get you more than a "Good, yes, no or fine" answer.

• Watch for signs of stress.  Stress could come from a teacher, another student, homework, a subject they are having a hard time with or with a relationship.  

• Make sure they do their homework!  Checking in on homework daily could seem like a daunting task, but it'll save the "I didn't know it was due" or "I forgot about it till right now" excuses.  We've all used them!

• Listen.  It's human nature to want to offer advice, however, listening will do so much more!  Intervene when necessary, but watch them learn & grow through every life experience.

If you or another parent needs someone to talk to about their school aged children, we're always here to listen.

If you're a student reading this, and you need someone to talk to, you can call us day or night confidentially to talk about ANYTHING you want to talk about!

613-238-3311

You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round

Life isn't always easy.  

You get pulled in 100 different directions at once, between work, family, friends, you're jumping over life's hurdles, you're trying to make ends meet, do the groceries, fold laundry, answer the 10 emails that came in late after you've already left the office.

You keep running in circles, around and around and around and around and....

You fall down.  Hard.

You've burnt yourself out.  You're sick, you're run down, you're physically, mentally and emotionally unable to do ANYTHING else.

Guess what?  You're not alone.

Studies have shown that at least once a year, each and every one of us has that moment, where our bodies just say "hey now, I can't keep going at warp speed".  Then we have what is known as a "nervous breakdown".

A breakdown will vary from person to person, and mean different things to each of us.  Some people may experience severe breakdowns, while others just may need a day to recoup.

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Take "Jamie" for example.  

Jamie is 38 years old.  He works for a retail store that he loves, and does very well with customer service.  Today he's learned that he's been promoted to Store Manager, which includes new responsibilities, like opening & closing, balancing cash, doing deposits, scheduling employees, holding staff meetings, and on top of all of this, he is expected to meet a higher sales quota.  Oh and they're planning a store invite only party that Jamie's boss wants him to take on.  Jamie's grateful for the opportunity, but notices he's a bit more fatigued and has a lingering headache.

Jamie also has a family - his partner of 10 years, and their 2 children.  Jamie's partner, we'll call him Henry, and the kids have a surprise waiting when Jamie gets home from work - a puppy!  A sweet, 8 week old puppy.  Jamie & Henry had discussed waiting until their children were a bit older and more responsible, but he falls in love with the little puppy.  He feels a bit overwhelmed with having two young kids and a puppy, but he figures it will be okay, especially since Henry is a stay-at-home Dad and can train the puppy.  He shakes off the feelings of doubt as just being nervous.

Jamie & family sit down for dinner, and learn that their eldest daughter has a project due for school...tomorrow.  Clear the table, work with the kids to get the project and other homework done.  Jamie's head starts to ache a bit more, so he takes an Advil.

Henry is paying some bills, and sighs, and says to Jamie "I got the quote for the water heater today, and it's going to be about $1000."  Jamie calculates how much he'll have to sell at work to meet his commission to offset the cost, and oh wait, there's the family vacation they wanted to take the kids on when school let out for the summer.  Henry takes little puppy out for a walk while Jamie looks over the numbers, while his head continues to ache.  He's also noticing his eyes are strained.  Maybe he's catching a cold.

Jamie ponders all of this as he tucks his kids into bed, and he and Henry start the housecleaning - laundry, bathrooms, dishes, tend to the gardens.  

As Jamie settles into bed for the night, he starts feeling heavy in the chest, like someone is sitting on top of him.  He didn't even have the strength to shower tonight.  Then one by one, as if he somehow summoned them, the children and the puppy all need his attention.  Jamie's headache is now a full blown migrane and he doesn't think he'll be able to work tomorrow.

Jamie's family all fall asleep, puppy included, for the night, while Jamie struggles to fall asleep, tossing & turning, fighting against the heavy feeling & migrane.  He just can't seem to shake these feelings he's having.  

Jamie's next day starts off even worse.  He wakes up feeling like he's going to cry, and he can't figure out why.  

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Do parts of Jamie's story sound familiar to you?  This is a completely fabricated story that I just made up on the spot.  However made up it is though, this is easily comparable to many people in how a breakdown can begin.

What's disturbing is, many of us don't recognize the signs of a nervous breakdown coming, until it hits us full speed.

If you're experiencing signs of a breakdown, please take the time to assess yourself.  You only have one "You" and you need to take of yourself as well.

How do you ensure that you don't have a nervous breakdown?  Every person is different, but here are some key ways to help avoid a breakdown

• Exercise & eat well
• Get plenty of sleep
• Learn to say no, if you can't handle any additional responsibilities
• Delegate tasks - employees & family members alike
• Use a "To-Do" list & cross things off one by one
• Talk to your doctor if you're having troubles with sleeping, eating, or are concerned for your mental well-being
• TALK.  This is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  Talk about how you are feeling, what you are experiencing, and know that you aren't alone, just as "Jamie" has shown us above.

Finally, know that our volunteers are always here, 24/7, if you need someone to talk to who is unbiased and non-judgmental.  613-238-3311.  Call us anytime.

Life isn't always easy, but it can get easier, starting with a call to the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region.

Valentine's Day

It's been rumored that Valentine's Day has one of the highest suicide rates out of any day in the year.  Truth is, it doesn't.  While over the course in Canada in 2011, there were 3738 reported suicides, there was no more suicides on Valentine's Day than there were on other days.

In fact, the number of suicides in Canada has dropped from the previously reported numbers.  While we still lost many lives, knowing that 60+ people more than before decided to not take their lives, shows that we are doing something different, something helpful in our communities.  We need to keep improving to save as many lives as we possibly can.

So why do people assume that Valentine's Day shows more suicides than others?  

Mainly because society in general, movies, books, etc, have said time & time again that Valentine's Day are for those in relationships, lovers, partners, husbands & wives, telling someone who means the world to you how you truly feel, and showering that person with gifts, adoration, and love.  

Basically saying, that if you are single on Valentine's Day, you should be feeling:

Depressed - "No one wants to be with me"

Anxious - "Why can't I keep a boyfriend/girlfriend?  What's WRONG with me?"

Stressed - "I'm NEVER going to get married/have kids/buy a house this way!"

Sad - "I wish I had said yes to that person who asked me out last week..."

Suicidal - "If there's no one who loves me, why am I ever bothering with life"

That you should be:

Overeating - "Hellooooooo tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.....BFF's?  Okay"

Watching sad movies - "I can't believe Allie doesn't remember Noah!"

Going to single's parties - "All dressed up to meet people I don't want to meet"

Burning your ex's photos - "You wasted so many years of my life!!!!"

But here's the thing:

You don't need to be any of these things!

Valentine's Day is for some people, and for others, it's not.  It's okay to be single, not to have a date, not to get all caught up in the holiday.

Instead of feeding into the above "what you're supposed to feel" emotions, let's make a list of things you love about yourself.

I love myself because ______________________________.

I love this about my mind ___________________________.

I love this about my appearance ______________________.

I love this about my life _____________________________.

I love this about where I live _________________________.

I love that I can do this _____________________________.

I love to do this every day ___________________________.


Change your thoughts, and you'll change your world.

Valentine's Day shouldn't be anything that causes you anxiety, stress or depression, but if it does, and you need someone to talk to, we are ALWAYS here to listen.

Just give us a call at 613-238-3311

Remember to love yourself this Valentine's Day!

Student Life

Exams.  Studying. Parties.  Midterms. Projects.  Thesis. Group work.  Grades. Tests.  Tuition. Work. Roomates.  

Oh, the life as a student.  Sure, being a student has its benefits even beyond the educational side of it, but it also comes with inevitable stress.

You're bouncing around from class to class, buildings to libraries, dealing with the pressures of exams & midterms, and all the while you're fighting a cold or the flu, you have 4 projects that are worth 60% of your final grade, and it's only the second week back in this semester.

Student life is not easy.  There is a lot of pressure to excel & succeed, and it can be truly overwhelming.  For those of us who have surpassed the post secondary education part of our lives, there are definitely times of stress that will forever stick in our memories.

Students can often wear themselves down when they don't take the appropriate measures to take care - of their physical selves, as well as their mental selves.  In fact, when a student continues down a slippery slope of not taking care of themselves, one may potentially experience depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and thoughts or actions of self harm or suicide.

This doesn't mean that if you're having a particularly bad day or week that all of a sudden you're going to have these thoughts running through your mind, however it is possible.

How can a student take care of their overall being?  It's not always going to be easy, but with practice, students can adapt to coping skills that will benefit them all school year round.

TIPS

- Diet & Exercise - 
This does not mean you have to hit up the gym 5 days a week on top of your regular schedule and buy all organic foods, but it does mean to eat healthy meals (skip the fast food in the cafeteria and go for some homestyle cooking, or a fresh salad/soup combo) and to try and get at least 30 minutes of exercise in your day.  A great tool to help you get moving, are the active wear bracelets that you can sync to your smart phone.  A gentle vibration will remind you when you haven't moved in awhile - get your heart rate up with a walk, go for a skate on the canal, or hit up the gym!

- Do Something For YOU - 
Finding something that you love to do, will help ease the stress!  If it's going for a mani/pedi, or grabbing the guys to watch a game at the local pub, or if it's simply cranking the music and letting it all out in an impromptu dance party, do it!  

- Furry Friends - 
Do you have a pet in your home?  Or a friend with a dog or a cat?  Studies have shown that just 15 minutes with a furry friend can help ease major stress.  Many universities have Pet Therapy Programs, where animals who have gone through therapy training will visit on designated days, to help brighten the lives of students.  Ask your Student Centre if anything like this exists and how you can attend!  Or, visit your local Humane Society and volunteer as a dog walker.

- Talk It Out - 
Knowing that you have a place to turn to in your time of stress is helpful.  This is where we at the Distress Centre come in handy.  Since we're 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, we are always here, ready to listen and support you.  If you're cramming for a test or a midterm and are at your wit's end, pick up the phone and call us.  Talking about what ails you, is one of the best ways to cope.  Our Crisis Line Responders are non judgmental, unbiased, and are people, just like you & I.  

If you have a student in your life, pass along our blog post so that we can help each of them get through potentially tough times.

We're always here, and always ready to listen : 613-238-3311

Exercise For Your Mental Health

Exercise.

It's one of those things.  One of those "I'm going to start going for a run after work, five days a week!", and "Oh let's sign up for that free month of yoga at the local studio!" and the "I got a gym membership for the classes!"

Then they sometimes turn into...

"Ugh, I don't want to go run tonight, I'm exhausted."

"I'm too sore from the last yoga class & I didn't have a clue what I was doing!"

and...

"I don't know anyone at the gym, so the classes are boring."

Sound familiar?

When you choose to exercise, you may not realize, but while your body is getting in shape, your mind is too.

Our minds & bodies are synced together 24/7.  When we exercise, it's no different.  

Exercising doesn't mean that you need the $750 gym membership (although if that motivates you, then great!) or that we need to be sporting the latest workout gear by celebrities, or even that you have to go run 5k every night.  

When you workout, in whatever form that may be (swimming, running, cycling, group exercise, hiking, walking, sports, skating, etc) your body releases endorphins, which trigger a sense of happy in your brain.  When your brain feels these endorphins, it sends them throughout your entire body, making what you're doing, feel even better!

How much exercise is recommended?  30 minutes a day.  Take a walk on your lunch.  Play with the kids in the backyard.  Do a home exercise dvd.  Go to the gym & do cardio or circuit training.  

Other benefits from those 30 minutes of your exercise include:

• Less tension, stress & mental fatigue
• Natural energy boost (throw away those energy drinks please!)
• Improved sleep
• Less anger & frustration
• Sense of achievement (yes, you really did just leg press 150lbs!)
• Appetite for healthier foods (these paired up together are a winning combination!)
• Appreciation

If you need a step in the right direction, start small.  Focus on one exercise you enjoy doing.  If it's a walk, that's great!  Take on one exercise and own it, stick with it for 3 months, and you'll notice a difference!

Prefer the social aspect of working out?  Check out a gym that's close to your house, and encourage a friend to join you so that you have a workout partner all the time.  There are many gyms with memberships under $40 a month.

Always remember to consult your doctor when beginning an exercise regime, to rule out any potential complications.

Remember, above all, you CAN do it, and we're here to support you through it all.  613-238-3311

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...Stress

Imagine you're in a snowglobe.

You're the little figurine inside, carrying wrapped up gifts taller than you, you're holding the hand of a little one beside you.

There are trees, and maybe a shopping centre behind you.  

And then there's the snowglobe snow, flying & billowing all around you, in the small dome that surrounds you, coming at you from all directions.

And then it settles on the bottom of the globe, until someone or something shakes it up again.

Starting to sound like your life right now?

You're not alone.

As the holiday season is now upon us, the hustle & bustle of everything is coming to light.

The food.  The shopping.  The wrapping.  The visitors.  The travelling.  The weather.  The parties. 

Pressure.

Stress.

Anxiety. 

Maybe this is your first holiday season after suffering a tragedy or a loss.

Grief.

Sadness.

Depression.

Maybe you have people in your life that you'll be seeing, and you don't want to.

Loss of sleep.

Panic.

Darkness.

Maybe you just are feeling like this is it for you.

Isolation.

Loneliness.

Suicidal thoughts.

You don't need to feel ashamed if you're experiencing any of these thoughts.

The holidays are meant to be bright & merry, to have you happy & healthy, and to end the year with joy in your heart.

Here are some helpful tips that may make sense for you to try out!

TO-DO Lists

I am a huge to-do list person.  I find that if I write out literally everything I have to do, from grocery shopping to packing our overnight bags, that I know as soon as I cross that one item off my list, it's done.  Start with the tasks that you know will take up the most time and get those done first, that way as you get through your list, the easier tasks are on the bottom, and you'll zip right through them.

DELEGATE!

We as humans, want perfection at the holidays, just as we see in the movies, with the big tree decorated, a gorgeous turkey on the table, everyone dressed up and on their best behavior, and that you did it all by yourself.  In reality, we're more like the movie Four Christmases - baby is spitting up, kids are fighting, everyone's tired, the dog is in the garbage & the smoke alarm keeps going off for no reason.  Then someone asks you what they can do to help. Take the opportunity to delegate a task or two this holiday season, and you'll feel so much better, knowing that one thing is off your plate, so to speak.

Cranberry Sauce, a la Bart - kids can help too!  :)  (anyone remember this episode?  It aired 25 years ago this year!)

LESS IS MORE

The age old saying of "Less is more" still rings true today.  Have a budget set out for gift giving?  Stick to it!  What will going over your budget bring you?  Sure more presents under the tree, your kids receiving more...and a hefty credit card bill in January that will cause stress & anxiety.  Why not make some gifts this year? (Search handmade gifts on Pinterest, the possibilities are endless!) Or plan an outing with your family to a local amusement establishment?  (If you're in Ottawa, there's Skyzone, Laser Quest, Top Kart etc!)  Or ask them to fill out the following list:

TALK TO SOMEONE

If you're experiencing feelings of uneasiness, anxiety, sadness, depression, or thoughts of suicide, please know that our phone lines do not close over the holidays.  We have some pretty incredible people on our phones from Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, New Year's Eve & every day in between, to make sure that you have someone to talk to this holiday season.  Every call is completely free & confidential, and we are not here to judge you.  If you need a break between the presents and the turkey, take a few minutes to call us, and we'll be here to listen and support you.  613-238-3311.

From all of us at the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region, we'd like to wish you a very happy holiday season, filled with joy & love.  Be well!

Coping with a Breakup

Sometimes, it comes at you like a freight train, and other times it's comes completely unexpected.

A breakup in a relationship.

It may be your significant other, a friend, even a work relationship.  

Regardless of what the relationship is, it is now a "was" in your life.

Emotions are expected to be all over the place when it comes to a break up, depending on the circumstances.  There is no one perfect emotion that you are supposed to feel during this time.

Why does a breakup hurt so badly when you know in your head that it was for the best?  Simply because it signifies a loss - of commitment, hopes, aspirations and plans for the future.  

Someone coming out of an abusive relationship may lean towards the "when things were good they were great" times, and may not be able to see past the abuse, whether it was physical, mental, emotional or sexual.

A younger person may find heartache in losing the first person they truly cared for, or loved.  As parents, or older friends, we may tend to the "You're so young, you don't really know what love is".  That one person may have loved in their own way, that relationship, the person and the times together.  Love is a unique and wonderful experience, and is different for each person.

A couple that has been married for a number of years, were blessed with good fortune, children and that cliche "white picket fence", may find themselves at the end of their romance, and having just stayed together for their family's sake.  A split may be amicable, however, there is still the feeling of loss that can come through.

A work relationship may end on good or bad terms as well.  Something that you perhaps once saw yourself doing for a long time suddenly comes to a screeching halt, and you're left dazed.  Perhaps you decided to leave something behind and are walking away proud and feeling validated on your choices.

Someone may be completely blindsided in a breakup, not expecting their significant other to end things or walk away.  There maybe was another man/woman, an illness, an argument, or simply the person was not ready to honor their commitment.

As mentioned above, there are many emotions that can come through a breakup, including but not exclusive to:

• Anger
• Hurt
• Resentment
• Relief
• Grateful
• Happy
• Confused
• Depressed
• Liberated
• Sad

One person may experience all of these emotions, while another may only experience one or two.  It all depends on the person, the situation and the relationship itself.

So how can someone cope with a breakup?

In the age old way: time.

There is no magic spell to make going through a break up easier, whatever the case may be, even if you are the person doing the breaking up.

Be true to yourself during this time.  Do what makes your soul happy.  Love to dance?  Have a dance party with your closest friends.  Are you an outdoor-sy type?  Go skiing or snowshoeing or even for a long walk.

Share you feeling with your family or friends.  You're not alone - the majority of us have also gone through a break up or two in our lifetime and can be a great resource to lean on.

Allow yourself to feel whatever emotion comes your way, but please recognize if it starts to become dark thoughts, depression, thoughts of self harm or suicide come your way, please reach out and talk to someone.  If you aren't comfortable talking to someone you know the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region is always there for you, 24 hours a day.  

You aren't alone, and we'll listen to anything you want to talk about, even if it's just a memory of the relationship.

613-238-3311 any time of day or night.

Be well.

Happy Holidays?

Whether you celebrate Christmas, Hanukkah, Kwanzaa, or another special time, there's no avoiding it, it's coming and it's fast approaching with December 1st being this Sunday.

The holiday season is one that is full of a mixture of feelings and emotions, ranging from excited & happy, to stressed and overwhelmed, to depressed and sad.   These emotions vary from person to person, and the level of them depends on each individual.  For instance, myself, I LOVE Christmas, and am a very prepared woman who is almost done her shopping and preparation.  (Go ahead, make a face at your screen, it's okay, I'm used to it!)

While the hustle & bustle of the holidays can be exciting, it's crucial to take excellent care of yourself while you are suddenly doing way more than your normal routine.  Last year, we wrote about how to deal with the depression that can sometimes accompany the holidays, and provided some helpful tips to those who perhaps were looking for a way to cope.


1) Keep yourself organized.  Are you finding the whole idea of getting prepared and doing the shopping and the wrapping and the baking and, and, and, and.....too much?  Start with a trusty old "To-Do" list.  Make separate ones for each task you need to complete - shopping, food prep, decorating, etc.  Tackle one task at a time, and watch how satisfying it is when you cross each item off the list.

2) Take time for YOU.  Indulge in something that makes YOU happy.  Whether it's a specialty coffee at your favorite coffee shop, or a yoga class, a massage, or a guy's night out (or girl's!) taking time to do something nice for yourself will make a big difference in how holiday stress will affect you.

3) Go see the big guy in red!  If it falls into what holiday you celebrate, taking yourself, partner, kids to see Santa at a local mall or a parade can really bring joy and smiles to your face.  Yes, the line up of crying children, and hot parents, can be daunting, so check out the times at your local mall and choose an off peak time of day/night to see Santa.  One, you'll get to relax more, and two, you may just get an extra few minutes to talk to Santa!

4) Do something completely unselfish.  Have you heard of "Elfing"?  It's where you put something together, either handmade or purchased, your choice, and put it all together in a little package, maybe include some hot chocolate mix, and a little note (see below) and leave it on someone's doorknob, office desk, customer service area, wherever you decide to!  Just knowing that you've brightened someone's day will certainly brighten yours!

5) Take pictures!  Have you ever been so busy that you forgot to take your camera or smart phone out and snap some pictures to have for the years to come?  Grab some fun props, or go out in the snow (looks like Ottawa will get their first snowstorm tomorrow!) or have fun lighting the Menorah or decorating the tree, or out for a walk taking in the festive lights.  How about a photo a day challenge?  One photo each day that falls into a category like below.

If the holidays are just not your thing, don't feel badly.  You're entitled to feel the way you do.  However, if you are feeling severely depressed, anxious, stressed and do not know how to cope with these feelings, please know that we are here for you 24/7. 

We have volunteers here even through the holidays.  These volunteers have given us the best holiday gift of all - their time - to ensure that someone is always here to answer the line when you call.

So if you wake up on Christmas Day, and you are needing someone to talk to, please know that we are here for you - as the same goes for every other time period over the holidays.

613-238-3311

As we head into December, we would like to wish each and every one of you a very happy holiday season, with however you are celebrating.  May the season bring you great joy in your life, and peace in your body, mind & soul!