Why Fall is the Best Season

Need some convincing that it’s okay to let go of summer? Here are three reasons why fall is the best of our four seasons!

Maybe this summer was full of fun opportunities, time spent with family and friends, time off from work and maybe even some time under the sun or on a patio.  Or maybe none of this was feasible or appeals to you in favour of keeping cool and safe from sunburns and that’s okay too! 

While summer and winter both have the potential to stir up some negative seasonal mental health symptoms as a result of extreme weather and temperatures, changing amounts of sunlight during the day, etc. fall can be the perfect “in between” season to find some peace and calm in your life.

1. With lowering temperatures and higher potential for rain, fall brings with it the opportunity to wear comfy and cozy clothes. Ate an extra helping of dessert and feeling a bit bloated?  Throw on a comfy sweater! Don’t feel like shaving your legs? Pull those cozy full length pants on! Without the need to shed layers due to the summer heat, fall clothes can bring comfort as well as some peace to the minds of those of us feeling body conscious throughout the summer. 

2.  Fall food is delicious! Butternut squash soup, chili, pretty much any warm food comes back into our diet after having avoided anything exuding extra heat all summer. Not to mention the pumpkin! Not only is classic pumpkin pie back in season, these days you can pretty much buy pumpkin flavoured everything!

3. Here in Ottawa we are lucky to be afforded a season where we are treated to spectacular views of changing and falling leaves. Although it might be a pain to have to rake for hours after your maple tree on the front lawn decides it’s time to let go, the beauty of driving down a street or sitting in a park filled with different hues of oranges, reds and golds cannot be exchanged. Bring a book to a park in your neighbourhood or head up to the Gatineau Hills for some much deserved self-care time.

Here’s hoping you have a great autumn season! Remember – we are always here 24/7, no matter the season! 613-238-3311.

Summer Depression

Summer Depression

June has arrived. Nice weather, kids excited to be out of school for the summer, everyone is packing up their towels and umbrellas for the beach, and you might not be feeling so great about any of this.

You might feel guilty that while it seems to be the most beautiful time of the year and you “should” be enjoying some fun in the sun, you are instead feeling down and depressed. This can happen for a multitude of reasons and you are not alone!  Here is some information about summer depression and what you can do about it.

Causes of Summer Depression

Disrupted Schedules:  It is quite easy to stick to a daily routine throughout fall, winter and spring. With the daylight hours extended in the summer, kids home from school and summer vacations disrupting work, sleep and eating habits, being thrown off your schedule during the summer can most definitely have a negative impact on your mental health.

Disrupted Budget:  Summer can be expensive! The allure of time spent eating and drinking with friends on a patio on a nice evening in July is strong but the bills can add up. Not to mention summer vacations can be expensive, and if you are planning to send the kids to summer camp or have to pay for childcare, having your budget disrupted can cause extra stress.

Heat: Summers in Ottawa, much like winters in Ottawa, can bring extreme weather that is hard to handle.  If you don’t have air conditioning, sleeping can become difficult in the extreme humidity and cooking over a hot stove can be unbearable. If you do have air conditioning, you might find yourself becoming a bit too cozy in the comfort of your cooled living room and could start isolating or avoiding going out into the heat or missing out on activities you used to enjoy that you are no longer engaging in due to the weather.

Body Image: Hot weather and outdoor summer activities often call for more exposing clothing which might have you feeling self-conscious about your body. With social media a major part of our lives, it’s really easy to see pictures of your friends seemingly having a great time in their bathing suits at the beach while you are left feeling down and out by your body. Feeling bad about your body contributes to your mental health and may prevent you from doing activities you could find or used to find to be really fun.

Solutions

Consistency: Keeping your circadian rhythm in check helps with keeping emotions regulated. Even with extended day light hours, try to keep your sleep schedule consistent throughout the summer. Make use of black out curtains to ward off daylight if needed.

Prepare your wallet: If you know that you will be taking time off work this summer or paying to send the kids to daycare or camp, start preparing by putting a little bit of money away in the early months of the year. This will help lessen your financial strain come summer time and you will be more able to enjoy the summer without worrying about your bank account. Try to pick activities that you know you will enjoy, rather than ones you feel obligated to partake in. You can also make use of less expensive activities like local splash pads to have fun and beat the heat!

Feel good in your skin: Wearing more exposing clothes in the summer can be intimidating but it can also be fun to find new pieces that accentuate the parts of your body that you do like. Summertime clothes are often more colourful and flowing than warmer clothes and for women, a maxi skirt or dress is comfortable, cool and easily hides things you might not want to be seen around the beach!

Get Help: If you feel your summertime blues are worsening or not going away, please contact your doctor for help. The Distress Centre is also available 24/7 and we are more than happy to listen and provide support not only during the summer but all year round!

Resources:

http://www.webmd.com/depression/summer-depression?page=2

http://www.health.com/health/gallery/0,,20719721,00.html/more

 

You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round

Life isn't always easy.  

You get pulled in 100 different directions at once, between work, family, friends, you're jumping over life's hurdles, you're trying to make ends meet, do the groceries, fold laundry, answer the 10 emails that came in late after you've already left the office.

You keep running in circles, around and around and around and around and....

You fall down.  Hard.

You've burnt yourself out.  You're sick, you're run down, you're physically, mentally and emotionally unable to do ANYTHING else.

Guess what?  You're not alone.

Studies have shown that at least once a year, each and every one of us has that moment, where our bodies just say "hey now, I can't keep going at warp speed".  Then we have what is known as a "nervous breakdown".

A breakdown will vary from person to person, and mean different things to each of us.  Some people may experience severe breakdowns, while others just may need a day to recoup.

___________________________________________________________

Take "Jamie" for example.  

Jamie is 38 years old.  He works for a retail store that he loves, and does very well with customer service.  Today he's learned that he's been promoted to Store Manager, which includes new responsibilities, like opening & closing, balancing cash, doing deposits, scheduling employees, holding staff meetings, and on top of all of this, he is expected to meet a higher sales quota.  Oh and they're planning a store invite only party that Jamie's boss wants him to take on.  Jamie's grateful for the opportunity, but notices he's a bit more fatigued and has a lingering headache.

Jamie also has a family - his partner of 10 years, and their 2 children.  Jamie's partner, we'll call him Henry, and the kids have a surprise waiting when Jamie gets home from work - a puppy!  A sweet, 8 week old puppy.  Jamie & Henry had discussed waiting until their children were a bit older and more responsible, but he falls in love with the little puppy.  He feels a bit overwhelmed with having two young kids and a puppy, but he figures it will be okay, especially since Henry is a stay-at-home Dad and can train the puppy.  He shakes off the feelings of doubt as just being nervous.

Jamie & family sit down for dinner, and learn that their eldest daughter has a project due for school...tomorrow.  Clear the table, work with the kids to get the project and other homework done.  Jamie's head starts to ache a bit more, so he takes an Advil.

Henry is paying some bills, and sighs, and says to Jamie "I got the quote for the water heater today, and it's going to be about $1000."  Jamie calculates how much he'll have to sell at work to meet his commission to offset the cost, and oh wait, there's the family vacation they wanted to take the kids on when school let out for the summer.  Henry takes little puppy out for a walk while Jamie looks over the numbers, while his head continues to ache.  He's also noticing his eyes are strained.  Maybe he's catching a cold.

Jamie ponders all of this as he tucks his kids into bed, and he and Henry start the housecleaning - laundry, bathrooms, dishes, tend to the gardens.  

As Jamie settles into bed for the night, he starts feeling heavy in the chest, like someone is sitting on top of him.  He didn't even have the strength to shower tonight.  Then one by one, as if he somehow summoned them, the children and the puppy all need his attention.  Jamie's headache is now a full blown migrane and he doesn't think he'll be able to work tomorrow.

Jamie's family all fall asleep, puppy included, for the night, while Jamie struggles to fall asleep, tossing & turning, fighting against the heavy feeling & migrane.  He just can't seem to shake these feelings he's having.  

Jamie's next day starts off even worse.  He wakes up feeling like he's going to cry, and he can't figure out why.  

__________________________________________________________

Do parts of Jamie's story sound familiar to you?  This is a completely fabricated story that I just made up on the spot.  However made up it is though, this is easily comparable to many people in how a breakdown can begin.

What's disturbing is, many of us don't recognize the signs of a nervous breakdown coming, until it hits us full speed.

If you're experiencing signs of a breakdown, please take the time to assess yourself.  You only have one "You" and you need to take of yourself as well.

How do you ensure that you don't have a nervous breakdown?  Every person is different, but here are some key ways to help avoid a breakdown

• Exercise & eat well
• Get plenty of sleep
• Learn to say no, if you can't handle any additional responsibilities
• Delegate tasks - employees & family members alike
• Use a "To-Do" list & cross things off one by one
• Talk to your doctor if you're having troubles with sleeping, eating, or are concerned for your mental well-being
• TALK.  This is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  Talk about how you are feeling, what you are experiencing, and know that you aren't alone, just as "Jamie" has shown us above.

Finally, know that our volunteers are always here, 24/7, if you need someone to talk to who is unbiased and non-judgmental.  613-238-3311.  Call us anytime.

Life isn't always easy, but it can get easier, starting with a call to the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region.

Welcome Home, Soldiers.

This morning, on my daily commute into work, as I was congested in the traffic going west on the 417, a plane caught my attention.  It wasn't a normal commercial airliner flying in.  This was a massive, grey plane, with another small plane following just behind.

I watched it as I was stopped on the highway, trying to figure out what kind of plane this was.  Traffic started moving, and I was on my way to the office again.

On my normal social media check when I got into the office, this tweet came across from our friend Alison at CFRA:

Cue feelings of happiness.  Happiness for the families being reunited, children meeting their dad for the first time, partners holding on to one another not wanting to let go.  Happiness for each of the 93 troops, who have made it home to Canadian soil.  Happiness for our country.

Welcome home, soldiers.  

In the recent months, there have been many stories of soldiers taking their lives, after returning home from overseas.  Seeing unimaginable, tragic scenes, battling, losing comrades, incredibly long, hot days, and cold nights, even coming home can be terrifying. These things can become inner demons, that these brave soldiers may have a hard time coping with after they are home, and on rest for a couple of weeks or longer.

Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder, Depression, Fatigue, Anxiety, and other mental health disorders can be developed from experiencing instances like I mentioned above.  These can range in severity from mild depression, to severe PTSD, resulting in black outs, isolation, hallucinations, and suicidal ideations.

If you have a soldier in your life, or are a soldier, one who is just back from overseas, or someone who has been home for awhile, or even someone who is still rooted to Canadian soil, we are here for you.

No matter what you want to talk about, whether it is something you have experienced, something you cannot shake, thoughts that you don't want to be having, we are here for you.  No matter what.  

Our phone lines are open 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.  We are here to provide support to you, your families, friends, and loved ones, so that you can make it through another day.  Whether it is your first call, or your 50th call, we are always here, that we promise you.

613-238-3311

Welcome home once again, soldiers.  We are proud of you.

Who Turned Out The Sun?

It's that time of year again, when the days get shorter, the weather gets frigid, and we turn back the clocks an hour for daylight savings time - which is this weekend, if you didn't already know!

Less daylight.  Getting up in the dark, going home in the dark.  Where does that leave us? In our offices or at home, or at work in a store, where we only see the daylight from our windows (if we're fortunate enough to have a window) or experience a measly breath of fresh air going to and from the car or bus.  

All of this can leave us feeling groggy, fatigued, irritable, angry, and depressed.  

How can you break free of this unhealthy schedule that can be harmful to your mental health and overall well-being?

• Take a break!  Even if you're not a smoker, even a 5-10 minute bout of fresh air can do wonders.  Breathe in deeply while outside, letting the air fill your lungs, and exhale through your mouth.  Breathe in the oxygen and let out the stress, etc

• Lunchtime walks!  Have a half hour or even an hour for lunch?  Bust out of your work environment for half of your lunch break.  Grab your jacket, and good shoes and just get out and enjoy the outside world.  I know this may not be as appealing in -35 degree weather come January/February, but you'll come to appreciate the feeling of releasing your mind for a few minutes.

• Have a dog that you just let out the back door at home?  Head to the dog park or just go for a walk around the block.  Fido will love it, and it gives you the chance to rejuvenate.

• Partake in seasonal outdoor activities!  Skiing, snowshoeing, sliding, skating, are all great winter activities - and for the time being, hiking in the Gatineau Hills is superb!  Look at joining a walk or run club in your area where you can also meet others who are wanting to get out and about!

These are just some quick ways to get out and breathe in the fresh air during the time of daylight savings.  

• Be sure to get enough sleep as well.  "Falling Back" an hour means an extra hour of sleep (little bit harder with children and pets, but everyone adjusts in the end) so it's a good time to curl up with a great book, and just relax.

• Also, ensuring that your diet is a healthy one is ideal.  Lots of seasonal fruits and vegetables are a key ingredient to a well balanced diet, as well as steering clear of fast food, and all that extra Halloween candy still laying around!

Taking care of yourself during this time adjustment is the best way to get through whatever feelings and emotions come into play.  If you find yourself struggling, please don't hesitate to reach out to us for support.  613-238-3311 anytime of day or night, we are here for you!

Back To School - College and University

Their room is packed into boxes in the car, they've bid farewell to their hometown, and are ready to start their post-secondary career in the field that they feel they want to venture into.  Or maybe they're staying at home to attend the closest college/university and do a daily commute.

Regardless of their choice, your child has now become a young adult, and is taking baby steps into the world of college & university.

I can still remember my parents dropping me off at Loyalist College in Belleville - the furthest I was willing to go away, and I was going to be living in residence with 5 other girls I had never met before, and going to this school, where I knew a total of 2 people.  Nervous?  You bet.  Best two years of my school career?  Absolutely.  (In fact, it's where I met my now spouse!)

That first month where your student is learning their way around campus, what studying is REALLY like, how to cook for themselves, how important sleep really is, where they need to concentrate, how to make new friends, and most importantly, how to succeed in school.

But with all of those things, can come stressful times.  Anxiety, depression, stress come very easily to post-secondary students as they are learning the way of the world.  OSAP, student loans, finances, how to control money - it can send an 18 year old spinning out of control.  I saw many students in my college years, spending their OSAP on stereos, televisions and unfortunately, at the bars.  Bullying can also continue into the post-secondary stage, making it feel like it's a never-ending cycle.

Some students find themselves enjoying the party scene of college/uni more than classes, and end up missing classes, sleeping in class, and watching their GPA drop, and drop quickly.

Then come mid-terms & exams.  This is possibly one of the most stressful times for a college/uni student, as quite often, their mark on the exam is worth 50% or more of their final grade.  It is not uncommon to see students at their breaking point during exam time, to see them get sick, depressed, and not eat well, and some even find themselves extremely depressed and end up with suicidal ideations.

How can you as a parent, help your child through their post-secondary school?  

• Schedule weekly phone calls (or weekly dates if they're at home) to stay connected
• Teach them how to cook healthy meals
• Teach them how to do their laundry
• Show them how to manage their money through a budget, how to pay bills, how to properly use a credit card (consider one with a small credit limit of $500)
• Explain how to manage their stress (we're here 24/7 for your students to call!)
• Talk about a healthy lifestyle that doesn't involve substance abuse
• Go and visit!  They'll be so proud to show you around campus and their classrooms.
• Listen.  You'll be able to see the emotions your child is dealing with, and listening without judgement will help your student get their feelings under control.

If your student is having problems with the course they are taking, it's not a bad thing.  It can simply mean their passion isn't in that area of focus.  They can work with a school liaison to find the right course for them.

...pat yourself on the back parents, you've gotten your child out of elementary, middle and high school and into their post-secondary education!  (or, into the work world!).  This can also be difficult on you, emotionally, mentally and financially.  Be sure that you have a good support system in your life as well, as you will also be dealing with your own stuff.  

As always, don't forget that we are here, for you and your post-secondary students, for whatever you're dealing with.  We're here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, no matter what, simply by calling 613-238-3311.

Best wishes for this school year, to all of the students out there!

Self-Harm

Maybe you've been out somewhere and have seen someone in passing, or even a friend, or a co-worker with a bandage on their arm/wrist, or have seen visible scars branding someone's body that seem like they were deliberately placed.  Maybe the thought has crossed your mind "Why would anyone want to cut themselves?"  

Self-harm doesn't just affect one's body, but also their mind, and spirit.  It also just isn't about someone cutting themselves to feel pain or trying to escape life.

In fact, those who participate in self-harm, are often looking to feel better.  Those who are searching this feeling get a "high" from having the power & control over their mind and body, and it can feel euphoric, releasing certain endorphins.  Those who self-harm aren't always looking to end their lives, but in certain situations, this can be their reason for self-harm.  There are also tragic "overdoses" of self-harm where one can accidentally end their lives.

Self-harm doesn't just fall into cutting.  There are many methods people use, and can often move from one to another when that high isn't attainable anymore.

Self-Harm

• Cutting (often with razor blades, scissors or glass)
• Burning
• Hitting
• Scratching or picking at skin
• Hair pulling
• Inserting objects into body

Behaviours also considered as self-harm:

• Smoking
• Drinking alcohol
• Drug addiction
• Food (binge eating or starvation)
• Sex (many partners, unprotected)

Why does someone indulge in self-harm?  There is something in that person's life that is leading them to feel like they need to do this to themselves.  A traumatic experience (past or present), lack of coping skills, difficult relationships, financial woes, death of a family member or friend, battling a mental health disorder, battling a physical disability, issues academically, dealing with sexuality, abusive relationships (emotionally and physically), being bullied, and having issues at work.  There may also be psychological reasons that someone self-harms, such as hearing voices, repeated thoughts of doing it, forcing you to act upon to make the thoughts go away, and it could be a symptom of a borderline personality disorder.  This list is certainly not exhaustive as anything can trigger someone to want to self-harm.  T

How does someone get over the urge to do this to themselves?  Well there are many ways, but it takes time, effort and the person's own desire to stop.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - helps to identify unhealthy, negative beliefs and behaviors by slowly introducing them, and learning to cope with healthy & positive skills
• Dialectical Behavior Therapy - a brand of CBT (above) that teaches behavioral skills to help tolerate distress, manage or regulate emotions and improve relationships
• Psychodynamic Psychotherapy - focuses on identifying past experiences, hidden memories or interpersonal issues at the root of emotional difficulties through self-examination guided by a therapist (source Mayo Clinic)
• Medications - while there are no meds to treat self-harming behavior, a doctor may prescribe antidepressants or other medications to help treat a mental health disorder surrounding the self-harm behavior

If you or someone you know are self-harming, your first step to recovery is to confide in someone you trust.  If you can't confide in someone who is close to you just yet, you can call to talk to one of our amazing volunteers, at any time of day or night. 

613-238-3311

Grief

If you are one of the few people in this world who are fortunate enough to not have lost someone or something in your life, that you have not experienced grief from, you are in a very small percentage.

The majority of the world has experienced grief in one way or another.  Through the loss of a loved one, a traumatic experience that has taken a life too soon, the loss of a job, finances, a home.  The loss of a child or a pregnancy.  The loss of a parent or sibling.  Loss of health.  Retirement.  The loss of your family pet.  Loss of a relationship, friendship or marriage.  Loss of an era of time (ie: graduating college).  Loss of safety.

Grief, like most things, is a very unique experience for each person, but with many similarities at the same time.  Grief is a natural response to loss - the more significant the loss, the more intense the emotions and grieving will be.

How you grieve is dependant of factors, sometimes out of our control - coping skills, personality, your morals & values, what you're grieving over, WHO you're grieving over, how you manage your day to day coping skills.

You may have heard the old cliché "Time heals all wounds".  This is very true in the case of grief.  There is no "normal" grieving period, because as we mentioned, it's a highly unique experience for each person.  Some people could have closure within days, others it could take weeks or months, sometimes even years. 

You may have also heard about the "Stages of Grief". 

• Denial "There is no way this is/has happening/ed"
• Anger "I can't believe this happened!"
• Bargaining "Please, make this not happen, and I promise I will.........."
• Depression "I don't think I can deal with this"
• Acceptance "Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise"

Not everyone will experience each stage.  Sometimes, people have been dealing with something for so long, that they are more emotionally and mentally prepared for the outcome of the loss.  Also, the stages of grief won't necessarily fall in order as stated above - there is no textbook cases, as there is no textbook case of loss.

What can grief feel like on your body and mind?  Many people use the word "numb".  That you're just in such disbelief that you don't really feel anything.

There can be feelings of guilt, sadness, anger, fear, and yes, even happiness (if someone has been sick for a very long time, and the loss of them has ended a period of suffering).  There can also be physical symtoms present with fatigue, loss of appetite or vice-versa (eating to cope), flu-like symptomes (aches & pains) nausea and more.

How can you get through a time of grief?  Support from your family, friends, co-workers can be a great place to start, as they are the ones who know you the best.  You can speak with a therapist or join a support group.  You can also turn to us here at the Distress Centre.  We take many calls from people who have suffered a loss either recently, or in the past that they are having a hard time coping with. 

If you need someone to talk to, we are here for you.  You don't have to go through this loss alone.  613-238-3311 anytime of day or night.

Schizophrenia

Today is Schizophrenia Awareness Day in Canada. While you may have heard about this disorder, there is much to learn about what Schizophrenia is, and how a person can deal with having it.

 

 

The brain is a mysterious organ. Throw in some unbalancing of its function, and you have a disorder. Schizophrenia is a biochemical brain disorder that affect one's perception of real life and what is being made up inside the brain. Delusional periods are a major factor in Schizophrenia, and can often be frightening. Visual halluncinations, as well as hearing voices talking to them or about them, are also very common occurances, and can be so terrifying that they may be telling the person to injure themselves, or that they will hurt them. This can all result in paranoia (thinking that they are being watched, that people are out to get them) withdrawl from family, friends & social circles, and potential suicide ideations.
 

How does one know they have Schizophrenia? Usually it starts off slowly, in pre-teen/teen years, and may just seem like "mental growing pains". In the beginning, people may find themselves unable to have downtime or to relax, have difficulty sleeping and concentrating on easy tasks. This may result in them distancing themselves from others. They may start speaking in terms others won't understand, due to episodes.

Those who are "in remission" (ie: not experiencing epsisodes) are able to function well in their day to day lives. However, during a time where episodes are happening, one may find themselves in a depression, seeing & hearing things that aren't real, and these can be very disheartening for the person suffering.

 

How does one live with Schizophrenia? A trip to the doctor is the most important thing to do first, if Schizophrenia is suspected. There are medications that help those with the disorder, to feel closer to themselves. A doctor and/or specialist will determine what type and dosage will work best for each individual, depending on the severity of episodes. Medication must be taken as prescribed to help create a liveable balance. Going off medication without consulting a doctor can be very dangerous for the person living with the disorder.

 

Do we receive calls from those living with Schizophrenia? Absolutely. Do we hear from their family members? Sure do. Families that have a Schizophrenia sufferer in their lives can learn all about this disorder by visiting http://www.schizophrenia.ca/. Our phone line is always available as well if you have concerns or questions, or just need someone to talk to, at 613-238-3311.

 

Remember that Schizophrenia doesn't mean that the person living with it can't live a happy life. With proper medication and understanding of the disorder, one can function in society, just like anyone else can.

 

 

 

Infertility And Depression

You know how the song goes..."First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes the baby in the baby carriage!"  This doesn't ring true for everyone out there, and the results can be literally depressing.

Diagnosed infertility is on the rise, and affects 1 in every 5 women.  While is it completely normal to feel terrible sadness surrounding infertility issues, depression goes deeper, lingers, attacks.  You're reminded of it when you go to baby showers, when a friend announces her pregnancy, when you see countless photos of your friend's children on social media sites.  While treatments can be helpful to some, they aren't always affordable for others, and this can cause depression symtoms to worsen, thinking there is no way to get pregnant.

When dealing with hormones it can be awfully tricky to undestand the difference between sadness and depression. 

Signs of depression include:

• Sadness that lasts for weeks or months
• Feelings of hopelessness and helplessness
• Frequent crying or tearing up
• Frequently irritated or intolerant of others around you, specifically people who you used to enjoy being around
• Lack of motivation, struggling to get work done at the office or around the home
• Difficulty sleeping, either sleeping too much or unable to sleep well (insomnia)
• Difficulty with eating, either overeating or experiencing low appetite
• Struggling with experiencing pleasure in life, including a low interest in sex
• Frequent feelings of anxiety or worry
• Thoughts of dying, self-harm, or suicide (If you're considering taking your own life, please get help immediately!!)

Part of this blog post comes from Marie, one of the "Win A Baby" winners from Hot 89.9's 2011 contest, where couples applied to be lucky receipients of IVF treatments.  This is Marie's story:

"It's hard to get myself back into the headspace I was in before my daughter, Faith, was born. When I look at her now, I feel such an all encompassing joy, that it's hard for me to imagine there was a time when I described the way I felt as "numb to joy". It's the best way I can describe how I ended up feeling after struggling with infertility in the years leading up to her birth.
Infertility took me by surprise. It sent me into denial, it took me for a ride on an emotional rollercoaster that seemed to have no direction. "I am young, this does not happen to people my age" I found myself saying, over and over, in my head. Just a bit more time. A bit more time became a year, and then two, and then three and four. In this time, my husband and I had been to see many doctors, undergone many tests, answered many questions, and yet our biggest one took that long to answer .... "why can't we have a baby"?

Because I held out hope that one day I would get pregnant, and prayed that hopefully the magnitude of unpleasant feelings I felt during our struggle to "have Faith" ( in more ways than one) would slowly disappear from my mind, and from my heart, I kept a journal during that time. I didn't intend for it to be something negative that would induce feelings of sadness in me when I looked back at it. I intended it to be something that, if I was ever blessed enough to have a baby, I could look back at and feel an amazing amount of gratitude that my child exists after such a heartache. I feel that the best way to paint a picture of how infertility made me feel, is to share one of those journals. It's something I never imagined to be public, but with the rising rates of infertility, I am sure there are women out there right now who feel exactly the way I did when I wrote it.

" Sometimes the time, the years I have spent hoping and praying and trying don't seem real because I have trouble believing this is happening to us. All of the many times I have allowed myself to hope for the best only to be let down and somehow I still hope. I feel my hope is running out now like a battery losing it's charge and the light is dimming. I don't know how to pray anymore for something that doesn't want to come true for me. I know that people feel sorry for me and I feel watched and pitied and it adds to my hurt. I want to not hurt anymore. I want to believe that I'm not being selfish when I regret that this is my life right now. I want people to know that I am not ungrateful in any way. I just want to not hurt. I want to be able to lay in bed at night without wanting a baby so badly that it turns my stomach in knots when I remember my reality. My daydreams drift me off to a place where my dreams have come true, and when I remember that those dreams just won't come true for me my heart breaks, over and over again. I don't know if I can count how many times I have broken my own heart this way, and I don't know how to stop. I don't know how to stop dreaming of holding my own baby in my arms, I can't even imagine what that would feel like because it seems it will never be mine. I want to be able to get through a day without hearing about some unwanted, unplanned pregnancy that makes me want to scream in anger. I want to not be angry that an unfit mother gets pregnant by accident when I will likely have to pay big money to even have a hope in the world. I want to know how to let my anger go, it's eating away at my soul, at who I am and I don't want to lose myself in this. I want to know how to pray for my dreams to come true without feeling like I'm praying into nothingness. I just want to believe".  - Marie

Marie took to writing to express her feelings during the depression she faced, alongside of the infertility issues - an excellent outlet for depression.  Baby Faith was born on November 11, 2012 to Marie & her husband Chris, and is an amazingly beautiful girl with quite the personality. 

What can you do to help battle this depression?

• Exercise.  Getting even 30 minutes a day will stimulate endorphins and  your physical well-being
• Eat well.  Eating a proper diet helps with energy and increases mobility
• Creative outlet.  As Marie did, she wrote out her feelings. Writing, singing, dancing, running, are all positive ways to get your emotions out
• Aim for 6-8 hours of solid sleep every night
• Join a group for individuals facing the same problem.  There are strength in numbers, and you may find that you have new friends and hope through others
• Speak with your doctor or medical professional

Chances are, you know someone or know someone who knows someone facing the same infertility issues - and our volunteers are here for you, at any time day or night to talk, to listen, to support you in your journey.  You can call day, or night, when you are down, or have questions, or are looking for a community referral.  We're here for you.

When we say that any issue you are facing is worth talking about, we really mean it.  If you know someone who is experiencing depression from infertility, please pass along our 24/7 confidential phone line to them: 613-238-3311.

Eat Healthy to Battle Depression

Nevermind that bikini season is right around the corner - if you suffer from depression, stress, anxiety, eating healthy takes on a whole new meaning than just bathing suits.

 

You've heard it all before, how eating healthy is the number one way to keep weight down, and energy up, but did you know that it also helps to improve symptoms of mental health disorders?

 

Remember the Canadian Food Guide you learned about in health class during your public school years?  A well-balanced diet of the four main food groups provides you with the proper energy, vitamins and minerals that your mind needs to be at its absolute best. 

 

Skipping meals is a big no-no, especially if you're on medication to help you.  Breakfast, lunch & dinner are an absolute must, as well as healthy snacks throughout your day.  Ever miss a meal and notice how crummy you feel a couple hours later?  Missing that chance to eat can cause mood swings, irratability, fatigue and restlessness.

 

We all love a treat once in awhile...but the junk food is something to limit if you're dealing with one or more disorders.  Having high refined sugars and fats can lead not only to a sluggish feeling, and again, mood swings, but also weight gain that could potentially affect your medication and dosage.

 

Go fish.  No but really, the Omega-3 fatty acids found in fish are one of the easiest foods to eat to stimulate our brain cells, and make them happy.  Our bodies cannot produce Omega-3, and so it must come from fish and other foods.  There is evidence stating that having 2-4 portions of fish a week can help improve symptoms of depression.

 

Above all, keep a healthy weight.  Not only can a healthy weight help you physically, but it can also boost your confidence in yourself.  Eat well, exercise (even a brisk walk for 30 minutes a day) and sleep 6-8 hours a night to keep a healthy weight.  Your body AND mind will thank you!

 

As we always mention at the end of our posts, we're always here for you.  Call us anytime of day or night to talk things through.  613-238-3311.

 

Be well.

 

 

 

 

 

Guest Post - Laura

As we continue to post our own blog posts, we have been reaching out to those dealing with a mental health illness or disorder to talk about how they deal and cope.  Today's post comes from Laura, who has suffered from depression most of her adult life. 
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This month I moved.  I have two major deadlines at work.  By March 31 I will have travelled to New York, Vancouver, Montreal and Ottawa.  I have a workshop that I have to participate in and will be evaluated on and I’m nervous.  I’m the maid of honor in two weddings this summer and my duties for those wedding have ramped up.

Needless to say, I’m a little stressed.

As someone who has suffered from depression for most of my adult life, stress and I don’t always get a long.  There are some people that are incredibly productive and resilient during the most difficult times.  Their able to turn stress and anxiety over something into fuel and drive.  For me stress can upset all sorts of things and impact my sleep, my weight, and my general emotional well-being.  There was a time in my early twenties where any stressful situation paralyzed me.  It made navigating the ups and downs of life extremely difficult.

For people that suffer from a mental illness of any sort - scratch that - for ANYONE – learning how to deal with stress in a healthy way can be difficult.  I’m no expert, but in this post I’d like to share a few things with you that I have learned to be incredibly helpful in dealing with stressful times and have helped kept my physically and mentally well.

Reach Out

The first and most important lesson I have learned is that I need emotional support during times of stress.  When I have a lot going on in my life, I know that I have the tendency to feel the weight of it all emotionally.  I get teary, maybe I’m not sleeping as well and in order to build my resilience I need to have an outlet.  For me that outlet comes in the form of a professional with whom I speak twice a month.  Its important that I have someone that helps me to reflect on what’s going on for me and suggest helpful strategies to work through times of difficulty.  A really good friend, family member, coach or mentor can also be a good person to reach out to if speaking to a professional isn’t your thing.  Sharing our challenges can be a good outlet and can go far in helping us unload some of the emotional weight that stress can cause.

Eat well

Pass the peanut butter chocolate ice cream.  Seriously.  Give it to me. 

I have been known to eat my feeling in times of stress.  Anything delicious gives me temporary comfort.  Unfortunately it ultimately it makes me feel a whole lot worse. In order to get through times that are challenging mentally our body needs the proper fuel.  The best thing that you can do is to show yourself some love by taking time out to eat healthy and nutritious foods.  You’ll feel better, operate better and chances are you’ll sleep better if you’re filling your body with whole, nutritious foods instead of a pint of ice cream.

Exercise

When I’m busy with work or travelling I get tired.  Really tired.  As a result, exercise is usually the first thing that gets eliminated from the schedule – I make excuses because I think I just don’t have the energy.  I have learned again recently that this is probably the worst thing I can do.  During times of stress I need to carve out time to sweat.  It helps me shake my sillies out and re-focus.  It also helps me have more energy to keep on keeping on and to do the other things on this list - like making healthy meals and reaching out when I need to.  Endorphins are powerful things!

Theme Music

There are all sorts of studies that connect listening to upbeat or soothing music to improving one’s mood.  For me, a great song can help to distract me and ease tension and anxiety.  Over the past month I have made a conscious effort to turn music on when I’m at home or listen to my iPod more on the way to work to get the positive vibes flowing.  Right now I’m loving Lykke Li’s “I follow” – its upbeat and makes me feel like I can take on the world!

Sleep

I’m not a great sleeper on a good day – ask anyone that has ever shared a bed with me!  I toss, I turn, I sleep walk, I talk – it’s a full day’s work in one night.  So when times get tough my sleep really suffers.  I have found that the best thing I can do during times of stress or just to ensure my resilience is listening to my body and trying to get as much sleep as I can.  I’ve read that turning off electronics (phone, TV, computer) and being conscious of what you’re reading before bed (nothing too heavy) can also have a positive impact your ability to get to sleep and have a restful sleep so these are some strategies I use as well.  Everything seems easier when you are well rested.

This too shall pass

I try to remember when times are tough that this too shall pass and I will get through those things that are challenging for me.   We need to remember to be kind to ourselves and do those things that make us feel good when work or our personal lives seem crazy stressful.  So this month I plan to listen to upbeat music on repeat, get good sleep, eat well and not sacrifice exercise in favour of work.  Maybe doing some of these things will be helpful for you too?

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If you or someone you know, needs to talk, we're here 613-238-3311

 

 

Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD)

We often hear about Post Traumatic Stress Disorder associated with those in the military, coming back from a tour, and having to deal with what they've dealt with oversees, seeing what they have seen, but PTSD can affect anyone.

PTSD can develop in any one of any age, following a traumatic event that has threatened your safety, made you feel vulnerable, helpless and unable to surface.

PTSD can affect those who have personally experienced the tragedy, those who witness it, and those who pick up the pieces afterwards.  Doctors, emergency workers, police, firefighters, paramedics are at high risk for experiencing PTSD.  Family members, friends, co-workers of those who have gone through the actual trauma can experience PTSD as well. 

Anything can trigger PTSD symptoms: a sound, a smell, crowds, the touch of something or someone, a voice, a room, dreams, and a change in routine.  Sometimes symtoms come out in a few short hours or days after the event, however PTSD can sneak up weeks, months, and even years later.

Traumatic events, like mentioned above, is something that has threatened your safety.  Examples of this can be: natural disasters, transportation accidents, sudden death of someone, sexual abuse or rape, physical & sexual assult/abuse, childhood neglect, kidnapping, & war. 

PTSD is a very unique and personal disorder for those experiencing it.  However, there are three key symptoms that indicate PTSD in someone.  Re-experiencing the traumatic event, avoiding reminders of the trauma and increased anxiety and emotional feelings.

Those with PTSD can often experience "black outs" or "flashbacks" where they are back at the scene of the traumatic event, and either act out according to their current emotions, or revert back to how they were during that time.  These black outs can be potentially dangerous to the person in the moment and those around them.  It's important to seek help immediately if black outs are occurring. 

Treatment for PTSD can come in the form of therapy and medication, group therapy, and relaxation techniques.  Those dealing with symptoms should avoid drugs or alcohol, as it can act as more of a trigger than it does to "numb the pain".

Friends and family can provide love & support during this time, and encourage treatment.  Simply providing our phone number can be a step in the right direction for the affected person. 

PTSD is a serious condition, and should not be ignored.  If you or someone you know is dealing after a traumatic event or experience, please reach out.  Our phone number is 613-238-3311, and we're here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week to provide support.

 

Beat the Winter Blues

It's that time after the holiday season when it's dark early at night, it's cold, it's wet, the wind is howling, the snow is falling, and all you want to do is hibernate until Spring.

Don't let the Winter Blues and Seasonal Affective Disorder get the best of you.   It's easy to fall into the trap of wanting to just stay in bed, or curled up on the couch.  Heck, I'm guilty of it myself sometimes.

Seasonal Affective Disorder (SAD) can affect anyone.  Those of us in Canada, with long winter nights, are at a greater risk of SAD.  Feelings of hopelessness, appetite changes (increase or decrease) increased sleep & more naps, less energy, sluggish movements, social withdrawl, loss of activities that usually make you happy, irritability and even suicide ideations.

Doctors can't test us for Seasonal Affective Disorder, but your doctor can make a diagnosis by talking to you about your feelings and changes in your behaviour.  You know yourself better than anyone else.  Therapy can provide some relief, by expressing how you are feeling, and we're definitely here 24/7 to talk to you about all of these things at 613-238-3311.

But how can you get through these months, waiting for Spring, warm sunshine, flip flops, swimming and freckles to come your way?

Eat healthy.  Tests have been done that people suffering from SAD, showing that when they ate healthier foods, they felt better about things.  Stick to your four food groups, and everything in moderation.  Bright foods like fruits & veggies are an instant mood improver.

Sleep just the right amount.  8-9 hours is ideal for a good night's sleep. 

If you're on medications, review them with your doctor to make sure you're taking them the right way, at the right time of day.  I recently found out that one of my own doses is better taken in the morning than at night like I was. 

Exercise.  I don't mean run a full marathon in the snow.  Like to snowshoe?  Cross country ski?  Downhill ski?  Simply walk?  Grab a friend, co-worker, loved one, or even the dog and get out for at least 30 minutes a day for fresh air.  It will release endorphins that make you happy, and fill your lungs with clean air.  The Vitamin D from the sunshine is essential.

Avoid alcohol and drugs.  When dealing with depression, these can be a crutch to get you through.  Do your best to steer clear, and try the above tips instead.

Most people live with Seasonal Affective Disorder their entire lives.  It's manageable when you find something that works for you.

If you have thoughts of suicide, please call and talk to one of our Crisis Line Specialists.  We are here to listen, to help and support you.

Stay happy & healthy this Winter season.  Have any other tips?  Share them in the comments section below!

Holiday Depression

The holidays are here, and for many it's mistletoe, snowflakes, hot chocolate, family, friends, stockings, lights and joy.

For others, this is a dreaded time of year if you're dealing with depression.

There are many scenarios that can contribute to depression during the holidays, and know that you're not alone.  It is more common than most think.  Often you'll hear people say they don't like Christmas, or they're a modern day Scrooge, and are just "Bah-humbugging" through to the new year.

Between the physical demands of the holidays, financial stressors, and relationship woes, it's easy to get pushed down into the dark hole of depression.

We borrowed these tips you can try to keep holiday depression at bay from Mayo Clinic:

1. Acknowledge your feelings. If someone close to you has recently died or you can't be with loved ones, realize that it's normal to feel sadness and grief. It's OK to take time to cry or express your feelings. You can't force yourself to be happy just because it's the holiday season.
2. Reach out. If you feel lonely or isolated, seek out community, religious or other social events. They can offer support and companionship. Volunteering your time to help others also is a good way to lift your spirits and broaden your friendships.
3. Be realistic. The holidays don't have to be perfect or just like last year. As families change and grow, traditions and rituals often change as well. Choose a few to hold on to, and be open to creating new ones. For example, if your adult children can't come to your house, find new ways to celebrate together, such as sharing pictures, emails or videos.
4. Set aside differences. Try to accept family members and friends as they are, even if they don't live up to all of your expectations. Set aside grievances until a more appropriate time for discussion. And be understanding if others get upset or distressed when something goes awry. Chances are they're feeling the effects of holiday stress and depression, too.
5. Stick to a budget. Before you go gift and food shopping, decide how much money you can afford to spend. Then stick to your budget. Don't try to buy happiness with an avalanche of gifts. Try these alternatives: Donate to a charity in someone's name, give homemade gifts or start a family gift exchange.
6. Plan ahead. Set aside specific days for shopping, baking, visiting friends and other activities. Plan your menus and then make your shopping list. That'll help prevent last-minute scrambling to buy forgotten ingredients. And make sure to line up help for party prep and cleanup.
7. Learn to say no. Saying yes when you should say no can leave you feeling resentful and overwhelmed. Friends and colleagues will understand if you can't participate in every project or activity. If it's not possible to say no when your boss asks you to work overtime, try to remove something else from your agenda to make up for the lost time.
8. Don't abandon healthy habits. Don't let the holidays become a free-for-all. Overindulgence only adds to your stress and guilt. Have a healthy snack before holiday parties so that you don't go overboard on sweets, cheese or drinks. Continue to get plenty of sleep and physical activity.
9. Take a breather. Make some time for yourself. Spending just 15 minutes alone, without distractions, may refresh you enough to handle everything you need to do. Take a walk at night and stargaze. Listen to soothing music. Find something that reduces stress by clearing your mind, slowing your breathing and restoring inner calm.
10. Seek professional help if you need it. Despite your best efforts, you may find yourself feeling persistently sad or anxious, plagued by physical complaints, unable to sleep, irritable and hopeless, and unable to face routine chores. If these feelings last for a while, talk to your doctor or a mental health professional.

We are here over the holidays - Christmas doesn't mean that our phone lines are closed.  So if on Christmas Eve, Christmas Day or any day before of after you need someone to talk to, our amazing volunteers are here for you.  Simply call 613-238-3311 or 1-866-676-1080.

Have a safe & happy holiday season from all of us at the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region!