'Tis The Season

                     

Silver bells...silver bells...

It's Christmastime in the city!

As Ottawa woke up to its first snowfall yesterday morning, it seemed like everyone was A) making appointments to get their snow tires on and B) realizing that Christmas was just a month away!

And then for some, C kicks in, which sounds very similar to B, but in a different context.

C) Realizing that Christmas is just...a month...away....

It can be overwhelming to think that there's just a month till the biggest holiday of the year.  

Shopping.  Wrapping.  Baking.  Parties.  Kid's Concerts.  Santa Visits.  Family.  

And for others it can mean or even result in stress, anxiety, depression, loneliness & fear.

There's something to be said for balance over the holiday season, and while it doesn't always seem easy, we've complied a few ideas that can help keep your Christmas spirit up, and your stress level lowered.

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1) Stay Active!  We aren't saying that you need to hit up bootcamp or the gym every day for the entire month, but hey, if you can squeeze in a cardio session, a brisk walk outside with a friend, or even a workout at home of sorts, by all means, this will keep your heart rate up in a good way!  If you have kids, get them involved too.  You can have them come up with a great 30 minute workout that you can all do together.  Or if a run on the treadmill solo will make you calmer, you are entitled to that time too.

2) Watch Family Favorites!  This is something that so many of us love to do!  Is there a Christmas movie that warms your heart, or makes you laugh or brings you back to your childhood, watching your favorites can lift your spirit more than you know!  (My favorite?  Garfield Christmas)

3) Volunteer!  You may be thinking "Come on lady, we just talked about being busy, how on earth am I going to find time to volunteer?!"  Someone once told me that volunteering is the most rewarding experience they could ever ask for, for themselves and their family.  If you can find the time, there are so many great places around our city that you could volunteer at which are completely worthwhile!  Between fundraising for the Salvation Army with their Kettle Bell campaign, to Toy Mountain, to homeless shelter, or the food bank, there are definitely many places that you and/or your family could help out at this year.  If you're looking for a long term commitment for the new year, the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region are always looking for volunteers!

4) Gift to Others!  One of the best things about Christmas is not receiving gifts, but giving gifts to others.  Giving gifts to others is a wonderful way to show your appreciation for those you care for or are special to you.  You don’t need to go out and spend hundreds of dollars. Remember, it really is the thought that counts and people will appreciate small gifts because it shows you have thought about them.  When you give some thought to your gift, your friend or loved one will feel special and loved. This will then flow onto you feeling warm and positive from giving to someone you care about.  You could also talk with those around you who you celebrate with an talk about supporting a charity you all believe in rather than exchanging gifts.  

5) Appreciate!  Taking a moment to sit back with a coffee or hot chocolate in hand, and take in the wonder of the holidays can bring your soul much needed peace.  Whenever you have a stressful moment or day, taking time to focus on the good around you will instantly lift your spirits.  If this is a Christmas where you've recently experienced a loss, don't worry about trying to make it a perfect holiday.  Take your time to grieve your loss and remember them on the holidays.  

The joy of the holidays is within your heart, and with mindfulness, you just may be able to feel it all around you.  

If you don't already know this, the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region is open 24/7, and that includes every single day over the holidays - Christmas Eve, Christmas Day, New Years...our phone lines always remain open.  So if you need someone to talk to, we'll be here waiting.  

613-238-3311

We are wishing you all a happy & joyful month leading up to Christmas!!

*Editor's note: we are aware of the many holidays celebrated around this time period including Hanukkah, Kwanza & those who simply do not celebrate anything.  The Distress Centre is non denominational and wishes everyone to enjoy the next month.

Valentine's Day

It's been rumored that Valentine's Day has one of the highest suicide rates out of any day in the year.  Truth is, it doesn't.  While over the course in Canada in 2011, there were 3738 reported suicides, there was no more suicides on Valentine's Day than there were on other days.

In fact, the number of suicides in Canada has dropped from the previously reported numbers.  While we still lost many lives, knowing that 60+ people more than before decided to not take their lives, shows that we are doing something different, something helpful in our communities.  We need to keep improving to save as many lives as we possibly can.

So why do people assume that Valentine's Day shows more suicides than others?  

Mainly because society in general, movies, books, etc, have said time & time again that Valentine's Day are for those in relationships, lovers, partners, husbands & wives, telling someone who means the world to you how you truly feel, and showering that person with gifts, adoration, and love.  

Basically saying, that if you are single on Valentine's Day, you should be feeling:

Depressed - "No one wants to be with me"

Anxious - "Why can't I keep a boyfriend/girlfriend?  What's WRONG with me?"

Stressed - "I'm NEVER going to get married/have kids/buy a house this way!"

Sad - "I wish I had said yes to that person who asked me out last week..."

Suicidal - "If there's no one who loves me, why am I ever bothering with life"

That you should be:

Overeating - "Hellooooooo tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.....BFF's?  Okay"

Watching sad movies - "I can't believe Allie doesn't remember Noah!"

Going to single's parties - "All dressed up to meet people I don't want to meet"

Burning your ex's photos - "You wasted so many years of my life!!!!"

But here's the thing:

You don't need to be any of these things!

Valentine's Day is for some people, and for others, it's not.  It's okay to be single, not to have a date, not to get all caught up in the holiday.

Instead of feeding into the above "what you're supposed to feel" emotions, let's make a list of things you love about yourself.

I love myself because ______________________________.

I love this about my mind ___________________________.

I love this about my appearance ______________________.

I love this about my life _____________________________.

I love this about where I live _________________________.

I love that I can do this _____________________________.

I love to do this every day ___________________________.


Change your thoughts, and you'll change your world.

Valentine's Day shouldn't be anything that causes you anxiety, stress or depression, but if it does, and you need someone to talk to, we are ALWAYS here to listen.

Just give us a call at 613-238-3311

Remember to love yourself this Valentine's Day!

Who Turned Out The Sun?

It's that time of year again, when the days get shorter, the weather gets frigid, and we turn back the clocks an hour for daylight savings time - which is this weekend, if you didn't already know!

Less daylight.  Getting up in the dark, going home in the dark.  Where does that leave us? In our offices or at home, or at work in a store, where we only see the daylight from our windows (if we're fortunate enough to have a window) or experience a measly breath of fresh air going to and from the car or bus.  

All of this can leave us feeling groggy, fatigued, irritable, angry, and depressed.  

How can you break free of this unhealthy schedule that can be harmful to your mental health and overall well-being?

• Take a break!  Even if you're not a smoker, even a 5-10 minute bout of fresh air can do wonders.  Breathe in deeply while outside, letting the air fill your lungs, and exhale through your mouth.  Breathe in the oxygen and let out the stress, etc

• Lunchtime walks!  Have a half hour or even an hour for lunch?  Bust out of your work environment for half of your lunch break.  Grab your jacket, and good shoes and just get out and enjoy the outside world.  I know this may not be as appealing in -35 degree weather come January/February, but you'll come to appreciate the feeling of releasing your mind for a few minutes.

• Have a dog that you just let out the back door at home?  Head to the dog park or just go for a walk around the block.  Fido will love it, and it gives you the chance to rejuvenate.

• Partake in seasonal outdoor activities!  Skiing, snowshoeing, sliding, skating, are all great winter activities - and for the time being, hiking in the Gatineau Hills is superb!  Look at joining a walk or run club in your area where you can also meet others who are wanting to get out and about!

These are just some quick ways to get out and breathe in the fresh air during the time of daylight savings.  

• Be sure to get enough sleep as well.  "Falling Back" an hour means an extra hour of sleep (little bit harder with children and pets, but everyone adjusts in the end) so it's a good time to curl up with a great book, and just relax.

• Also, ensuring that your diet is a healthy one is ideal.  Lots of seasonal fruits and vegetables are a key ingredient to a well balanced diet, as well as steering clear of fast food, and all that extra Halloween candy still laying around!

Taking care of yourself during this time adjustment is the best way to get through whatever feelings and emotions come into play.  If you find yourself struggling, please don't hesitate to reach out to us for support.  613-238-3311 anytime of day or night, we are here for you!

Back To School - College and University

Their room is packed into boxes in the car, they've bid farewell to their hometown, and are ready to start their post-secondary career in the field that they feel they want to venture into.  Or maybe they're staying at home to attend the closest college/university and do a daily commute.

Regardless of their choice, your child has now become a young adult, and is taking baby steps into the world of college & university.

I can still remember my parents dropping me off at Loyalist College in Belleville - the furthest I was willing to go away, and I was going to be living in residence with 5 other girls I had never met before, and going to this school, where I knew a total of 2 people.  Nervous?  You bet.  Best two years of my school career?  Absolutely.  (In fact, it's where I met my now spouse!)

That first month where your student is learning their way around campus, what studying is REALLY like, how to cook for themselves, how important sleep really is, where they need to concentrate, how to make new friends, and most importantly, how to succeed in school.

But with all of those things, can come stressful times.  Anxiety, depression, stress come very easily to post-secondary students as they are learning the way of the world.  OSAP, student loans, finances, how to control money - it can send an 18 year old spinning out of control.  I saw many students in my college years, spending their OSAP on stereos, televisions and unfortunately, at the bars.  Bullying can also continue into the post-secondary stage, making it feel like it's a never-ending cycle.

Some students find themselves enjoying the party scene of college/uni more than classes, and end up missing classes, sleeping in class, and watching their GPA drop, and drop quickly.

Then come mid-terms & exams.  This is possibly one of the most stressful times for a college/uni student, as quite often, their mark on the exam is worth 50% or more of their final grade.  It is not uncommon to see students at their breaking point during exam time, to see them get sick, depressed, and not eat well, and some even find themselves extremely depressed and end up with suicidal ideations.

How can you as a parent, help your child through their post-secondary school?  

• Schedule weekly phone calls (or weekly dates if they're at home) to stay connected
• Teach them how to cook healthy meals
• Teach them how to do their laundry
• Show them how to manage their money through a budget, how to pay bills, how to properly use a credit card (consider one with a small credit limit of $500)
• Explain how to manage their stress (we're here 24/7 for your students to call!)
• Talk about a healthy lifestyle that doesn't involve substance abuse
• Go and visit!  They'll be so proud to show you around campus and their classrooms.
• Listen.  You'll be able to see the emotions your child is dealing with, and listening without judgement will help your student get their feelings under control.

If your student is having problems with the course they are taking, it's not a bad thing.  It can simply mean their passion isn't in that area of focus.  They can work with a school liaison to find the right course for them.

...pat yourself on the back parents, you've gotten your child out of elementary, middle and high school and into their post-secondary education!  (or, into the work world!).  This can also be difficult on you, emotionally, mentally and financially.  Be sure that you have a good support system in your life as well, as you will also be dealing with your own stuff.  

As always, don't forget that we are here, for you and your post-secondary students, for whatever you're dealing with.  We're here 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, no matter what, simply by calling 613-238-3311.

Best wishes for this school year, to all of the students out there!

Stream of Thoughts

When I was a tween/teenager, and going through a hard time, my mother encouraged me to write my feelings out.  "Stream of Thoughts" she would call it.  Then, if it wasn't in my diary, and I didn't have anything left in me to write about, to throw that paper away, symbolizing that I could move on from those thoughts.  I find myself more than 17 years since this advice from my mother, doing the same thing today, whenever I need to get thoughts out of my head, or be able to tell someone something.

Often, we hear that callers enjoy writing as a sense of getting their feelings out, but some don't know where to start.  Here are some great ways to get started:

• Choose your topic.  If it's one issue that you are dealing with, go on that.  If it's a bunch of topics, write about one at once.

• Physically use a pen or pencil to write on paper.  Writing on the computer or a tablet gives us too much freedom to delete what we're writing, because we may overthink, and try to protect ourselves or others, even if you're the only one seeing your writing.

• Be in a spot where you can write without being interrupted.  This may be a difficult task, so even if it's somewhere you can write with minimal distractions is better than nothing.  You want to be able to focus on your thoughts, and getting them out.

• The actual writing part can be done as you want it to.  Write in third person.  Write as you are writing a play or a script.  Write just random words.  Write upside down, backwards, in shapes, different colors, or any other method that will help you get your thoughts out.

• Don't be afraid of your emotions.  You may experience anger, sadness, dispair, happiness, contentment, stress, and every other emotion while you're writing - but this is good!  These emotions are being captured by your words that are landing on the paper.

• Keep writing until you run out of words.

• When you find yourself finished with your writing, you can make the choice for yourself whether to keep what you've written in a safe place, share it with someone you care about, or throw it out.  This choice is completely yours and yours alone.

• Take a deep breath when it's all said and done.  You deserve it after getting all of those emotions out.

We're always here to talk, any time of day or night, if you are ready to reach out.  Call us at 613-238-3311 to speak to one of our volunteers.

Volunteers Are Always Needed!

Did you know that our phone lines are run completely by volunteers?  24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year, volunteers are answering the calls from our community.  We get calls from people who have had a bad day at work, people who are dealing with relationship problems, have suffered a tragedy in the lives, and calls from people who are contemplating suicide.

We're always recruiting, training, and developing volunteers for the Distress Centre. 

Currently, we're accepting applications for our January 2013 training classes.  What a great New Year's Resolution for 2013 - deciding to make a difference in the lives of others. 

To apply to be a volunteer, you'll need to fill out our Volunteer Application Form, provide us with a Police Record Check, and three references. 

The Distress Centre has volunteers that come from all walks of life.  They are united by their desire to help their community and provide a lifeline to those in need.  Those who get the most out of volunteering are emotionally mature, calm and empathetic individuals.

Do you have the willingness to listen and provide non-judgmental support?  Are you able to commit to three (3) shifts per month, including an overnight shift, for one year?  Are you applying at a point in your life where you have not experienced any major upheavals or life stressors? 

As a volunteer, you can expect an amazing, 59 hour training session, done by our expert trainers in where you'll be taught active listening, stress and crisis management.  You will also attend a 2-day LivingWorks ASIST suicide intervention workshop.  You'll be provided with a comprehensive training manual. 

As mentioned before, as a new volunteer, we expect you a 1 year commitment or 144 total hours, which breaks down to 24 daytime or evening shifts (2 per month) and 12 overnight shifts (1 per month).  The 1 year commitment is based on the fact that are providing the training, workshops and ongoing education services free of charge to our volunteers in order to give them the necessary tools and skills they will need once they are on the lines.  Our commitment to each other is what will ensure the longevity and success of the Distress Centre.

Shifts are scheduled according to your schedule!  We work around you time! 

Being a volunteer is incredibly rewarding. 

"Being a Distress Centre volunteer has helped me realize how similar we all are. Over a lifetime, we all experience stresses and we should not have to always face these difficulties alone. I have witnessed time and again the benefits that arise from talking about an issue with someone who really listens to your concerns. I believe in the Distress Centre's impact and this is why I volunteer"

If you're interested in becoming a volunteer with the Distress Centre of Ottawa, apply today at www.dcottawa.on.ca and watch what a difference you can make in our community!

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Mental Health In The Workplace

It's Mental Illness Awareness Week, and while it's a rainy Monday morning in Ottawa, and we're all back to work, it's fitting to talk about Mental Health in the workplace.

Scenario:  Your alarm clock goes off at 6:30am, and as you roll over to shut if off, you groan, thinking about your day & week ahead of you.  You struggle through your morning getting everyone out the door, and on their way for the day, only to sit in traffic for 30 minutes.  By the time you get to work, you're already feeling like you've ran a marathon, and you open your email to see that you have piles of work to do.  As you work away, your co-workers start gossiping about others in the office.   You try to block these individuals out, but the constant hum of their voices irritate you.  After lunch, you come back to your desk to see more piles of work, with urgent deadlines on them.  You start to feel anxious, flustered and panicky.  Everything seems to swallow you whole.  Your phone rings, and it's your daughter's school, telling you she is sick with the flu, and you need to come pick her up.  Your brain is almost at capacity - and then you spill your coffee on your pile of papers marked URGENT.  You break down, and wonder why you even bother anymore. 

Seems like a bad day right?  Sometimes, this anxiety, stress, depression is not just a bad day, but a sign of mental illness.  Did you know that 1 in 5 Canadians experience diagnosable mental illness?  And that almost 4000 Canadians commit suicide every year?

There are many ways to maintain a healthy work environment for yourself.  Some suggest getting up on the hour every hour, just to stretch and get the blood flowing, and oxygen to your brain.  Getting outdoors on your lunch hour to alleviate the ho-hum of the office can boost energy levels for the rest of your work day.  Of course, it's not always easy to get out and about during the Canadian winters, but having access to a gym close by can help you get some mid-day exercise to release endorphins that will be a mood enhancer.

Having a healthy lunch, and healthy snacks during the day is a great way to keep your mind feeling great.  The better you eat, the healthier you are.  Fast food creates feelings of sluggish-ness and can make you feel even worse.  Comfort food is always a go-to in the colder months, so instead of picking up a burger & fries, why not make a homemade soup at home and bring it in for your lunch?  It's easy and packs the same "comfort-food-punch".

Work with your boss and colleagues to have an open door policy.  Being able to effectively talk about issues, without feeling like you have to hold them in will better everyone.  Having a problem with a co-worker that you just can't deal with?  That open door policy will help with that. 

Breathe.   We breathe to live, but have you ever turned out the lights, turned off all electronics, just for a few minutes to hear what your breathing sounds like?  Try it.  Shallow, quick breaths suggest anxiety and stress.  Deep, balanced breaths suggest a healthy being overall.  Take time to close your eyes if you're feeling overwhelmed, and just breathe, in and out, slowly, feeling your lungs expand and deflat.  Do this for a couple of minutes until you start to feel better.

Finally, work at a job that you like and that you're good at.  Having a career is an amazing thing, but if your heart isn't in it, neither is  your mind.  Consider making a switch, even if your background isn't in that field.  Many of us aren't working in the field we went to school for.  (Me - Radio Broadcasting, now working for the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region)  You may just surprise yourself, finding something you are passionate about!

Be healthy, mentally, in your workplace.  Make a pledge to yourself to try some of the above.  The Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region also provides a Speaker's Bureau in which one of our speaker's can come into your workplace to talk about mental health.  Simply call us at 613-238-1089 and ask for Leslie.

If you're experiencing depression or have a workplace problem you need to talk about, we're here, 24/7.  613-238-3311.