Whatever

It's one of those days when you have to force yourself out of bed, for either yourself, work, your kids, your pets, WHATEVER.

It's getting stuck in traffic on a Friday when there's never any traffic on Friday.  

It's forgetting your lunch on the kitchen counter, and not having any cash with you to get something else.

It's dealing with your depression and anxiety, and feeling like you're just in a rut with everything.

It's hearing that someone you care about has been diagnosed with a terrible disease.

It's wanting so much more from your life, but not understanding how to get there.

It's that fight you had with your friend/sibling/co-worker/partner that just was not even worth the arguing.

It's having lost something so very precious to you - a person, an object, a life, a job, WHATEVER.

It's knowing the holiday season is just around the corner and trying to muster up the strength to just get through it in one piece.

It's getting your paycheque and knowing that it's just not enough for your family to keep surviving on.

It's like feeling as if today would have been better without you in it.

It's WHATEVER is affecting your life, that you can reach out and talk to us.

We often blog about different mental health disorders, different coping mechanisms, what's going on in accordance to the time of year, etc.

Today, our blog post is just about one thing: having you know that WHATEVER you are dealing with in your life, we are here for you.

Our crisis line specialists are at our phone stations 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for WHATEVER you want to talk about.

In fact, this year, we'll have answered over 40,000 calls from people just like you who have been dealing with different issues in their lives that have been affecting their every day.  For some, it may be something that they've been dealing with for a very long time, and they know that we are always there to talk about WHATEVER with them, for others they may be a first time caller, looking for someone to turn to, and we are here.  Honestly, we cannot stress that enough - we are HERE for WHATEVER you need to talk about.  You don't even need to give us your name if you're feeling overwhelmed about calling, but just know that every call is confidential.

If the thought of calling us to talk is just not on the table for you right now, we encourage you to check out our website at www.dcottawa.on.ca to learn more about our services.  

And just remember that no matter what, we are here for you to talk about WHATEVER you need to talk about.

613-238-3311

Back To School - High Schoolers

Whether you have a "minor niner" starting high school or one entering into Grade 12, high school is four years of your child's life, that are some of the most emotional, difficult and overwhelming years.

Grade 9

The "Minor Niners" year.  Do you remember the feeling of walking into the large high school, feeling completely lost and nervous about where you locker is, how to find your classroom, where the cafeteria is, if you'd be picked on by an older student?  Those feelings are still around today for new ninth graders, but with a lot more concerning issues, like bullying, fitting in, sexual orientation and more.

One of the easiest ways for a ninth grader to get started, is to stick with someone they know.  Often, students will venture into a high school with someone they've already been going to school with for most or at least part of their lives.  Strength in numbers!  Your student will be able to have that friend closeby for assistance, or even just to have someone to talk to, as they meet new friends.

Ensuring that your child is safe & happy is one of the most logical concerns a parent can have.  Does the school have a zero tolerance for bullying?  Is your child someone who is friendly to everyone, or are they a potential bully themselves?  Are they involved in clubs or sports?  These are all excellent questions to keep in mind and to talk to you kids about.

Grade 10 

Not at the bottom of the food chain anymore, but not at the very top either.  Students in grade 10 are starting to know what they like and what they don't when it comes to subjects, and will definitely have a few choices for classes and electives.  Sitting down with your student to hash out details of each class together is a great way to learn more about what your high schooler is loving, and ensuring that they are meeting the school's requirements for graduation in a couple of years.  

All of the same concerns listed above can follow your child through their high school career.  Don't assume all of that ends in the 9th grade.

Grade 11

Your student is at the time in their high school career where they are going to be starting to think of post-secondary school or a career.  Now is an excellent time to listen to their hopes for their future, and how you can help them get there.   There comes a bit more expectation and pressure in the 11th grade, with making sure they stay on top of their studies to ensure good grades for college or university.  

This is also one of the times in your students life, where they're falling in love for the first time.  You may think "Oh she/he is just too young to feel that way!" but truth be told, we all had a first love in high school, and if you are honest with yourself, you'll remember the feelings that come with it.  Having the good old "Safe Sex" conversation with your child when they are in their first serious relationship can help you (and them) be more prepared for what can happen.  You'll most likely get a lot of eyerolling and the "Mommmmmm" or "Daaaaaaaaad" "I knoooooooowwwww", but believe me, they will care that you took the time to talk to them.  They will have their hearts broken, and there will be tears, so letting them know you are there, no matter what happens, will help them through tough times.

Grade 12

Top of the totem pole!  College, university or the work world are steps away from your almost graduate.  Finishing up missing credits, college applications, resume building - it's a very, VERY stressful time for your student.  You will invariably see changes in your child's demeanor, so taking time to sit down and talk about everything will help you both through it. 

Now is also the time where your student is just on the brink of being legal age (if in Ontario) and there will be parties, and dances, and more parties, and prom.  Taking time to talk about their responsibilities as a young adult are key, and setting ground rules.  They'll most likely be driving out late with friends now, so talking about being safe while driving to avoid tragedy is a must.

At the end of the day, ensuring that you are understanding and willing to listen to your student's anxiety, stress, depression, happy time, excitable moments, proms, dances, math tests, broken hearts, biology experiments gone awry, and simply being there for your student, is the most important thing. 

Students will be going through a slew of emotions over these 4 years and can easily pick up the phone and call the Distress Centre.  It's free, confidential, and while you may not necessarily know that they've called us, you can rest assured that our fully trained volunteers are here to provide support and listen.  Put our number in the hands of your student before this school year starts, and together we can get through another school year!  613-238-3311 - any time of day or night, we're here.

Back To School - Middles

You remember what being in middle school was like.  You remember recess being fun, doing plays & playing the recorder in music class, you remember "nature walks" and field trips, you remember playing soccer or basketball and travelling for games & tournaments.

Middle school is an amazing time in your child's life, as they are set in their school routine, know that they have homework to do, know which subjects they like, and which they need to work harder at.  Middle school is also where your child starts to really develop a personality, a group of friends, along with their own morals and values.  

Although all of these great things are happening during middle school, these years can be tough on your child.  With all of the above positives, there are other things to watch for:

Developing own personalities - is your child's personality something to be concerned about?  Is he/she lashing out?  Are there more tears than smiles?

Groups of friends - is your child hanging out with others that are easy to get along with?  Are they nice?  Are they a good or bad influence? 

Homework - is your child doing his/her homework?  Are they making up excuses for not handing in their homework?  Are they lying about having homework?

Hormones - oh the joy of the puberty age!  Is your child struggling with hormonal changes?  
Is your child nervous about having a locker for the first time?  How to remember that darn combination code?  

Is it nerve-wracking for them to be moving from classroom to classroom for subjects, instead of staying with their one teacher who just teaches everything all day?

Has your child mentioned a bully in his/her class or an older grade?  Is there a fear about going to school?  Has your child been threatened by someone at school?

The very best thing a parent can do is listen & watch.  Listen to your child's concerns "What if I can't get my locker open and I miss my bus?"  and watch for behavioral changes "I hate going to gym class now!!" (from a child who loved gym before), does your child suddenly not speak to a friend that they've been friends with for a long time?  Reading between the lines of your child's statements may be a great indication as to what's going on.  Also, there is no shame in getting in touch with your child's teachers if there is something you need to discuss ie: homework, behavior in class, etc.

Another thing that parents can do for their kids, is to make sure they stay healthy during the school year.  Getting eyes tested, vitamins taken, and regular dental check ups are a key to a successful school year - but what about their mental health as well?  Ensuring that you take time each week to talk about school, friends, groups of kids, etc.  Watching for signs of depression, stress, anxiety, and even thoughts of suicide can be overwhelming as a parent, but you know your child better than anyone.  Having healthy meals (breakfast, lunch & dinner) are very supportive in mental health as well.

As embarrassing as it may be as a parent to talk to your child about sex, this is the time in their lives where they will be learning about it at school, and from their peers, and they are dealing with puberty.  Your child will be embarrassed to be talking about it with you as well (as we all were growing up) but, hey, if we couldn't embarrass our own child, who can we embarrass?  :)  In all seriousness, the age of those participating in sexual activity is dropping, and better safe than sorry with having the discussion about safe sex early on. Deep breaths, it's going to be okay.

Encourage your child to live their school life to the fullest - play spots, swing on swings, take on yearbook or art classes, run track, join clubs.  School isn't just about learning from books, it's about learning who you are!  

Anyone needing support during the school year - students, parents, teachers, faculty, bus drivers - can call and speak to one our volunteer crisis line specialists, in confidence, 24 hours a day.  Simply call 613-238-3311.