Back To School Blues

The first sighting happened this morning as I took a walk with my dog before leaving for work.

I honestly couldn't believe my eyes.  It couldn't possibly be...could it?  

As I walked a little further, it came clear into my vision that what I was seeing from afar, was truly what I thought it was.

A school bus.

How is it that summer went by so quickly, that it has become "back to school" time already?

Many adults, with or without children, have a feeling of nostalgia when September rolls around.  After years & years of elementary, high school and post secondary education, you almost expect that butterfly feeling in your stomach that comes in September.  You remember certain school years, heading off to college or university, and just what that first day of school felt like.

For parents, it may be a time of joy sending their kids back (Hello, Staples commercials "It's the most wonderful time of the year!") and for others, there may be sadness, or the Back To School Blues.  It may be difficult watching your children grow up before your eyes, sending them into higher grades, hoping that they are safe & learning, hope that they aren't being bullied, hoping they aren't the bully, wanting them to experience sports, and science, math & drama.

For students of any age, there can be excitement, let down of having to go back, anxiety, fear, stress, and many other emotions.  While someone can say "You'll be FINE!"  a million times over, the emotions that students feel are very real.  

If your child (4 years old or 20 years old) is experiencing some concerning emotions about school, there are some great ways to help them through it.

• Help them find an activity that they are passionate about when it comes to school.  Is it soccer?  Is it art?  Maybe they have a passion for photography and being on the Yearbook Committee would be ideal.  Whatever the passion is, encourage them to follow it!

• Check in daily with them, with open ended questions, ex: "Tell me about your day" or "What did you focus on in geography today" or "Tell me the hardest part of your day, and then tell me the best part of your day".  Using open ended questions will get you more than a "Good, yes, no or fine" answer.

• Watch for signs of stress.  Stress could come from a teacher, another student, homework, a subject they are having a hard time with or with a relationship.  

• Make sure they do their homework!  Checking in on homework daily could seem like a daunting task, but it'll save the "I didn't know it was due" or "I forgot about it till right now" excuses.  We've all used them!

• Listen.  It's human nature to want to offer advice, however, listening will do so much more!  Intervene when necessary, but watch them learn & grow through every life experience.

If you or another parent needs someone to talk to about their school aged children, we're always here to listen.

If you're a student reading this, and you need someone to talk to, you can call us day or night confidentially to talk about ANYTHING you want to talk about!

613-238-3311

Whatever

It's one of those days when you have to force yourself out of bed, for either yourself, work, your kids, your pets, WHATEVER.

It's getting stuck in traffic on a Friday when there's never any traffic on Friday.  

It's forgetting your lunch on the kitchen counter, and not having any cash with you to get something else.

It's dealing with your depression and anxiety, and feeling like you're just in a rut with everything.

It's hearing that someone you care about has been diagnosed with a terrible disease.

It's wanting so much more from your life, but not understanding how to get there.

It's that fight you had with your friend/sibling/co-worker/partner that just was not even worth the arguing.

It's having lost something so very precious to you - a person, an object, a life, a job, WHATEVER.

It's knowing the holiday season is just around the corner and trying to muster up the strength to just get through it in one piece.

It's getting your paycheque and knowing that it's just not enough for your family to keep surviving on.

It's like feeling as if today would have been better without you in it.

It's WHATEVER is affecting your life, that you can reach out and talk to us.

We often blog about different mental health disorders, different coping mechanisms, what's going on in accordance to the time of year, etc.

Today, our blog post is just about one thing: having you know that WHATEVER you are dealing with in your life, we are here for you.

Our crisis line specialists are at our phone stations 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year for WHATEVER you want to talk about.

In fact, this year, we'll have answered over 40,000 calls from people just like you who have been dealing with different issues in their lives that have been affecting their every day.  For some, it may be something that they've been dealing with for a very long time, and they know that we are always there to talk about WHATEVER with them, for others they may be a first time caller, looking for someone to turn to, and we are here.  Honestly, we cannot stress that enough - we are HERE for WHATEVER you need to talk about.  You don't even need to give us your name if you're feeling overwhelmed about calling, but just know that every call is confidential.

If the thought of calling us to talk is just not on the table for you right now, we encourage you to check out our website at www.dcottawa.on.ca to learn more about our services.  

And just remember that no matter what, we are here for you to talk about WHATEVER you need to talk about.

613-238-3311

Back To School - High Schoolers

Whether you have a "minor niner" starting high school or one entering into Grade 12, high school is four years of your child's life, that are some of the most emotional, difficult and overwhelming years.

Grade 9

The "Minor Niners" year.  Do you remember the feeling of walking into the large high school, feeling completely lost and nervous about where you locker is, how to find your classroom, where the cafeteria is, if you'd be picked on by an older student?  Those feelings are still around today for new ninth graders, but with a lot more concerning issues, like bullying, fitting in, sexual orientation and more.

One of the easiest ways for a ninth grader to get started, is to stick with someone they know.  Often, students will venture into a high school with someone they've already been going to school with for most or at least part of their lives.  Strength in numbers!  Your student will be able to have that friend closeby for assistance, or even just to have someone to talk to, as they meet new friends.

Ensuring that your child is safe & happy is one of the most logical concerns a parent can have.  Does the school have a zero tolerance for bullying?  Is your child someone who is friendly to everyone, or are they a potential bully themselves?  Are they involved in clubs or sports?  These are all excellent questions to keep in mind and to talk to you kids about.

Grade 10 

Not at the bottom of the food chain anymore, but not at the very top either.  Students in grade 10 are starting to know what they like and what they don't when it comes to subjects, and will definitely have a few choices for classes and electives.  Sitting down with your student to hash out details of each class together is a great way to learn more about what your high schooler is loving, and ensuring that they are meeting the school's requirements for graduation in a couple of years.  

All of the same concerns listed above can follow your child through their high school career.  Don't assume all of that ends in the 9th grade.

Grade 11

Your student is at the time in their high school career where they are going to be starting to think of post-secondary school or a career.  Now is an excellent time to listen to their hopes for their future, and how you can help them get there.   There comes a bit more expectation and pressure in the 11th grade, with making sure they stay on top of their studies to ensure good grades for college or university.  

This is also one of the times in your students life, where they're falling in love for the first time.  You may think "Oh she/he is just too young to feel that way!" but truth be told, we all had a first love in high school, and if you are honest with yourself, you'll remember the feelings that come with it.  Having the good old "Safe Sex" conversation with your child when they are in their first serious relationship can help you (and them) be more prepared for what can happen.  You'll most likely get a lot of eyerolling and the "Mommmmmm" or "Daaaaaaaaad" "I knoooooooowwwww", but believe me, they will care that you took the time to talk to them.  They will have their hearts broken, and there will be tears, so letting them know you are there, no matter what happens, will help them through tough times.

Grade 12

Top of the totem pole!  College, university or the work world are steps away from your almost graduate.  Finishing up missing credits, college applications, resume building - it's a very, VERY stressful time for your student.  You will invariably see changes in your child's demeanor, so taking time to sit down and talk about everything will help you both through it. 

Now is also the time where your student is just on the brink of being legal age (if in Ontario) and there will be parties, and dances, and more parties, and prom.  Taking time to talk about their responsibilities as a young adult are key, and setting ground rules.  They'll most likely be driving out late with friends now, so talking about being safe while driving to avoid tragedy is a must.

At the end of the day, ensuring that you are understanding and willing to listen to your student's anxiety, stress, depression, happy time, excitable moments, proms, dances, math tests, broken hearts, biology experiments gone awry, and simply being there for your student, is the most important thing. 

Students will be going through a slew of emotions over these 4 years and can easily pick up the phone and call the Distress Centre.  It's free, confidential, and while you may not necessarily know that they've called us, you can rest assured that our fully trained volunteers are here to provide support and listen.  Put our number in the hands of your student before this school year starts, and together we can get through another school year!  613-238-3311 - any time of day or night, we're here.

Back To School - Middles

You remember what being in middle school was like.  You remember recess being fun, doing plays & playing the recorder in music class, you remember "nature walks" and field trips, you remember playing soccer or basketball and travelling for games & tournaments.

Middle school is an amazing time in your child's life, as they are set in their school routine, know that they have homework to do, know which subjects they like, and which they need to work harder at.  Middle school is also where your child starts to really develop a personality, a group of friends, along with their own morals and values.  

Although all of these great things are happening during middle school, these years can be tough on your child.  With all of the above positives, there are other things to watch for:

Developing own personalities - is your child's personality something to be concerned about?  Is he/she lashing out?  Are there more tears than smiles?

Groups of friends - is your child hanging out with others that are easy to get along with?  Are they nice?  Are they a good or bad influence? 

Homework - is your child doing his/her homework?  Are they making up excuses for not handing in their homework?  Are they lying about having homework?

Hormones - oh the joy of the puberty age!  Is your child struggling with hormonal changes?  
Is your child nervous about having a locker for the first time?  How to remember that darn combination code?  

Is it nerve-wracking for them to be moving from classroom to classroom for subjects, instead of staying with their one teacher who just teaches everything all day?

Has your child mentioned a bully in his/her class or an older grade?  Is there a fear about going to school?  Has your child been threatened by someone at school?

The very best thing a parent can do is listen & watch.  Listen to your child's concerns "What if I can't get my locker open and I miss my bus?"  and watch for behavioral changes "I hate going to gym class now!!" (from a child who loved gym before), does your child suddenly not speak to a friend that they've been friends with for a long time?  Reading between the lines of your child's statements may be a great indication as to what's going on.  Also, there is no shame in getting in touch with your child's teachers if there is something you need to discuss ie: homework, behavior in class, etc.

Another thing that parents can do for their kids, is to make sure they stay healthy during the school year.  Getting eyes tested, vitamins taken, and regular dental check ups are a key to a successful school year - but what about their mental health as well?  Ensuring that you take time each week to talk about school, friends, groups of kids, etc.  Watching for signs of depression, stress, anxiety, and even thoughts of suicide can be overwhelming as a parent, but you know your child better than anyone.  Having healthy meals (breakfast, lunch & dinner) are very supportive in mental health as well.

As embarrassing as it may be as a parent to talk to your child about sex, this is the time in their lives where they will be learning about it at school, and from their peers, and they are dealing with puberty.  Your child will be embarrassed to be talking about it with you as well (as we all were growing up) but, hey, if we couldn't embarrass our own child, who can we embarrass?  :)  In all seriousness, the age of those participating in sexual activity is dropping, and better safe than sorry with having the discussion about safe sex early on. Deep breaths, it's going to be okay.

Encourage your child to live their school life to the fullest - play spots, swing on swings, take on yearbook or art classes, run track, join clubs.  School isn't just about learning from books, it's about learning who you are!  

Anyone needing support during the school year - students, parents, teachers, faculty, bus drivers - can call and speak to one our volunteer crisis line specialists, in confidence, 24 hours a day.  Simply call 613-238-3311.  

Back To School - Littles

The time has finally (or maybe, too quickly) arrived - your baby is heading off to Kindergarten!  

As you do your shopping together, for backpacks, lunch kits, crayons, new clothes and more, your child starts to ask questions about what Kindergarten will be like.

"Will my teacher like me?"
"Will I make new friends?"
"When do I take a nap?"
"Who makes my lunch?"
"How do I go to the bathroom?"
"How will I know what bus to get on?"
"What if my teacher forgets about at recess?"
"How can I talk to you when I'm sad?"
"What if nobody likes me?"
"What if someone calls me names?"

...and the heart-wrenching moment for any parent "Do I have to go?  Can't I stay at home with you?"

Kindergarten is an immense change for your child, even if they've been going to a pre-school or daycare.  A new routine and people can be very overwhelming for your little one - as well as yourself.  School stress can occur at any age, especially at an early age.

Preparing your child for Kindergarten may take more than the week before.  There will be an adjustment period, where your child is more fatigued, and more irritable, as the days are more challenging with learning to read, write, and learning new social skills with friends they've just met.  They're learning how to cope with aggression, and manage their emotions (no, you can't hit Bobby, same rules as at home, use your indoor voice, it's okay to be sad, etc).

Does your child's new school have an "Introduction to Kindergarten Day/Program"?  It's a program where your child can take the bus (if applicable) with a parent to see what it's like, then spend a few hours getting to see the classroom, meet the teacher and other kids in their class, and absorb their environment.  Then, they take the bus back home to see how they get on the bus after school.  It's a great day to help calm their little minds, and big worries.

If your child's school doesn't have this program, inquire about taking your child into the school the week before.  Most teachers are already in their classrooms a week before, and would probably just love to meet your child one-on-one.  

Involve your child in the shopping aspect of getting ready.  What clothes will make your child the most comfortable.  Dresses for little girls are adorable, but are they play-appropriate?   Are there lots of buttons on their pants?  This can be a tricky thing when having to use the bathroom at a new place, and may cause accidents.  Do you need to send a spare change of clothes in case of an accident, paint droppings or juice spillage?  Leggings for little girls are great and easy to play in, change into, etc.  Track pants or elastic waistbands are perfect for little boys who sometimes just don't have the time to worry about buttons and zippers!  

Celebrate your child going into this new milestone!  Maybe have a nice dinner the night before school starts with their favorite meal to celebrate what a big boy/girl they've become - or celebrate after the first day or week is done!

Consider getting your child on an earlier bedtime routine.  Summer months have us keeping our children up later than normal, so setting a new routine for school will help with potential fatigue.  And hey, what does a nap here and there hurt?  

Finally, allow yourself to feel what you feel.  Having your child head off for their first year of school can bring forth many emotions for you, the parent, as well.  You are most likely overjoyed that you've gotten them this far, but are afraid to send them off into the school world.  You may feel like your child is too young, or too shy, or too little to go to JK, or that they may be the victim of bullying.  You may feel anxiety about your child being in the care of another.  These are all normal emotions & feelings.  Rest assured that you're not alone.  

Is there a Parent Council you can join to ensure that your little student is being taken care of properly?  Does your child have an agenda that the teacher signs and sends home daily?  Ask your child about their day.  Avoid the "What did you do at school today" question, as you'll often get the "I forget" answer, as they have a busy day, every day.  Consider asking questions like "What did you paint today?"  "What new songs did you learn?"  "Did you fall asleep during naptime today?" "Did you have a nice day with your friends?"  Showing your child that you're interested in their day will ease their anxiety, and will help you feel as ease as well, learning about their day.

As September is just a few weeks away, know that we are here for you to talk to.  Sending your child off to school is a whirlwind of emotions, and we're here to provide support to you.  613-238-3311, anytime of day or night, we're here.

Best of luck to your littles, heading off to JK this year!

New Year, New You

2012 has flown by hasn't it?

Does it not seem to you that we were just relishing in the warmest spring, the hot, dry summer, walking in the leaves this unseasonably warm autumn?

And yet, here we are, about 15 days until Christmas, and 22 days until 2013!

Time to start thinking of those 2013 New Year's Resolutions!

Let's see...there's the usual, lose weight, quit smoking, go to the gym, eat better.  These are all great, and kudos to those of you who really stick with it.

But have you ever considered making a difference with your time?

2013 can be the year that you help out thousands of callers at the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region.

Through 59 hours of training, you'll learn vital tactics to learning how to support callers, without the use of providing advice.  Our job is to lend a supportive, non-judgmental, and unbiased ear.  Sometimes people just need someone they don't know to listen to them, sometimes it's just easier to talk to someone who doesn't know you personally.

You'll also be trained in the Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training workshop.  This is a 2 day course, that we provide free of charge to our volunteers.  You will learn how to listen for warning signs of someone with suicide ideations.  You get the chance to interact with many others and our very qualified educational managers to learn how to diffuse suicidal intentions, and help the person in need get to a safer place for themselves.

We sometimes hear people "Oh I couldn't do that, I couldn't talk to people who are in distress or suicidal."  And that's the truth - you need to be comfortable, and with all the training that we have each volunteer partake in, by the end of it you will feel comfortable.

Take it from me - I just finished my own training, and 2 days later, I got asked to help out on the phone lines.  And let me tell you, it was a very rewarding couple of hours!

So if you think that your New Year's Resolution will be to volunteer at the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region - fill out your application today!

www.dcottawa.on.ca

The Stand Up Kid

Yesterday, we blogged about the pressures of being a student and how it can affect you through your years in school.

I came across this video today on the Canadian Mental Health Association's - Peterborough Branch Facebook Page, and I had to share. 

If we continue to raise the stigma of mental health and depression in our schools, we would be able to help so many more students.

Share this blog post with everyone you know, and you're helping to take a stand.

Student Pressure

One of the most trying times in a person's life is the school years.  Whether it be high school or college, university or adult education. 

• The pressure of getting the grade.  "I need to get that A in Communications to keep my scholarship"

• Peer pressure to do drugs, drink, or act in a certain manner.  "All my friends are smoking up, and keep asking me to as well, but I don't want to!"

• Exams.  Study, study, study.  Do you feel like that's all you do, and it's not going anywhere for you?

• Sexual orientation.  "I"m gay, but no one knows, and I'm scared"

• Financial problems due to the economy. "I can barely afford tuition let alone food"

• Bullying.  "Everyone hates me because I don't look and act like they do"

• Homesick for friends and family if you're away at school.  "I miss my parents, and my best friends who are at another school all together without me.

• Issues with roomates, and dorms.  "My roomates are just horrible to deal with, they don't clean anything and are rude and inconsiderant people"

• Chosing a Major.  "What if I choose the wrong Major and I can't get a job after!"

There are SO many issues that come up during the school era of your life. Do any of the above comments or phrases sound like something you've heard yourself say or think?

I remember when I was away at college, being homesick because of being in a long-distance relationship caused me to go home nearly every weekend.  I missed out on many weekends at the college, with friends, because I felt like I needed to be home.  Once I let myself branch out to new opportunities, I saw myself really open up with friends and outings.

I was fortunate to have excellent roomates that were great to talk to, with a grade I was unhappy with, with a study problem, a boy, and even to talk about where my degree was going to take me. 

That's not always the case for students, and we want to let you know that you're not alone.  There are volunteers at our centre that are also students, that may be able to relate to what you're experiencing.

If you feel as if you can't talk to anyone at the school, or friends, or even your family, and you're away at school, we're here for you.  Depression can sneak up on even the happiest of person when they're away at college or university, or even if you're still in high school or getting your OSSD through Adult Education.

Be the healthiest student you can be, physically, emotionally, mentally. 

613-238-3311

 

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1-866-676-1081