You Spin Me Right Round, Baby, Right Round

Life isn't always easy.  

You get pulled in 100 different directions at once, between work, family, friends, you're jumping over life's hurdles, you're trying to make ends meet, do the groceries, fold laundry, answer the 10 emails that came in late after you've already left the office.

You keep running in circles, around and around and around and around and....

You fall down.  Hard.

You've burnt yourself out.  You're sick, you're run down, you're physically, mentally and emotionally unable to do ANYTHING else.

Guess what?  You're not alone.

Studies have shown that at least once a year, each and every one of us has that moment, where our bodies just say "hey now, I can't keep going at warp speed".  Then we have what is known as a "nervous breakdown".

A breakdown will vary from person to person, and mean different things to each of us.  Some people may experience severe breakdowns, while others just may need a day to recoup.

___________________________________________________________

Take "Jamie" for example.  

Jamie is 38 years old.  He works for a retail store that he loves, and does very well with customer service.  Today he's learned that he's been promoted to Store Manager, which includes new responsibilities, like opening & closing, balancing cash, doing deposits, scheduling employees, holding staff meetings, and on top of all of this, he is expected to meet a higher sales quota.  Oh and they're planning a store invite only party that Jamie's boss wants him to take on.  Jamie's grateful for the opportunity, but notices he's a bit more fatigued and has a lingering headache.

Jamie also has a family - his partner of 10 years, and their 2 children.  Jamie's partner, we'll call him Henry, and the kids have a surprise waiting when Jamie gets home from work - a puppy!  A sweet, 8 week old puppy.  Jamie & Henry had discussed waiting until their children were a bit older and more responsible, but he falls in love with the little puppy.  He feels a bit overwhelmed with having two young kids and a puppy, but he figures it will be okay, especially since Henry is a stay-at-home Dad and can train the puppy.  He shakes off the feelings of doubt as just being nervous.

Jamie & family sit down for dinner, and learn that their eldest daughter has a project due for school...tomorrow.  Clear the table, work with the kids to get the project and other homework done.  Jamie's head starts to ache a bit more, so he takes an Advil.

Henry is paying some bills, and sighs, and says to Jamie "I got the quote for the water heater today, and it's going to be about $1000."  Jamie calculates how much he'll have to sell at work to meet his commission to offset the cost, and oh wait, there's the family vacation they wanted to take the kids on when school let out for the summer.  Henry takes little puppy out for a walk while Jamie looks over the numbers, while his head continues to ache.  He's also noticing his eyes are strained.  Maybe he's catching a cold.

Jamie ponders all of this as he tucks his kids into bed, and he and Henry start the housecleaning - laundry, bathrooms, dishes, tend to the gardens.  

As Jamie settles into bed for the night, he starts feeling heavy in the chest, like someone is sitting on top of him.  He didn't even have the strength to shower tonight.  Then one by one, as if he somehow summoned them, the children and the puppy all need his attention.  Jamie's headache is now a full blown migrane and he doesn't think he'll be able to work tomorrow.

Jamie's family all fall asleep, puppy included, for the night, while Jamie struggles to fall asleep, tossing & turning, fighting against the heavy feeling & migrane.  He just can't seem to shake these feelings he's having.  

Jamie's next day starts off even worse.  He wakes up feeling like he's going to cry, and he can't figure out why.  

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Do parts of Jamie's story sound familiar to you?  This is a completely fabricated story that I just made up on the spot.  However made up it is though, this is easily comparable to many people in how a breakdown can begin.

What's disturbing is, many of us don't recognize the signs of a nervous breakdown coming, until it hits us full speed.

If you're experiencing signs of a breakdown, please take the time to assess yourself.  You only have one "You" and you need to take of yourself as well.

How do you ensure that you don't have a nervous breakdown?  Every person is different, but here are some key ways to help avoid a breakdown

• Exercise & eat well
• Get plenty of sleep
• Learn to say no, if you can't handle any additional responsibilities
• Delegate tasks - employees & family members alike
• Use a "To-Do" list & cross things off one by one
• Talk to your doctor if you're having troubles with sleeping, eating, or are concerned for your mental well-being
• TALK.  This is one of the best things you can do for yourself.  Talk about how you are feeling, what you are experiencing, and know that you aren't alone, just as "Jamie" has shown us above.

Finally, know that our volunteers are always here, 24/7, if you need someone to talk to who is unbiased and non-judgmental.  613-238-3311.  Call us anytime.

Life isn't always easy, but it can get easier, starting with a call to the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region.

Valentine's Day

It's been rumored that Valentine's Day has one of the highest suicide rates out of any day in the year.  Truth is, it doesn't.  While over the course in Canada in 2011, there were 3738 reported suicides, there was no more suicides on Valentine's Day than there were on other days.

In fact, the number of suicides in Canada has dropped from the previously reported numbers.  While we still lost many lives, knowing that 60+ people more than before decided to not take their lives, shows that we are doing something different, something helpful in our communities.  We need to keep improving to save as many lives as we possibly can.

So why do people assume that Valentine's Day shows more suicides than others?  

Mainly because society in general, movies, books, etc, have said time & time again that Valentine's Day are for those in relationships, lovers, partners, husbands & wives, telling someone who means the world to you how you truly feel, and showering that person with gifts, adoration, and love.  

Basically saying, that if you are single on Valentine's Day, you should be feeling:

Depressed - "No one wants to be with me"

Anxious - "Why can't I keep a boyfriend/girlfriend?  What's WRONG with me?"

Stressed - "I'm NEVER going to get married/have kids/buy a house this way!"

Sad - "I wish I had said yes to that person who asked me out last week..."

Suicidal - "If there's no one who loves me, why am I ever bothering with life"

That you should be:

Overeating - "Hellooooooo tub of Ben & Jerry's ice cream.....BFF's?  Okay"

Watching sad movies - "I can't believe Allie doesn't remember Noah!"

Going to single's parties - "All dressed up to meet people I don't want to meet"

Burning your ex's photos - "You wasted so many years of my life!!!!"

But here's the thing:

You don't need to be any of these things!

Valentine's Day is for some people, and for others, it's not.  It's okay to be single, not to have a date, not to get all caught up in the holiday.

Instead of feeding into the above "what you're supposed to feel" emotions, let's make a list of things you love about yourself.

I love myself because ______________________________.

I love this about my mind ___________________________.

I love this about my appearance ______________________.

I love this about my life _____________________________.

I love this about where I live _________________________.

I love that I can do this _____________________________.

I love to do this every day ___________________________.


Change your thoughts, and you'll change your world.

Valentine's Day shouldn't be anything that causes you anxiety, stress or depression, but if it does, and you need someone to talk to, we are ALWAYS here to listen.

Just give us a call at 613-238-3311

Remember to love yourself this Valentine's Day!

Student Life

Exams.  Studying. Parties.  Midterms. Projects.  Thesis. Group work.  Grades. Tests.  Tuition. Work. Roomates.  

Oh, the life as a student.  Sure, being a student has its benefits even beyond the educational side of it, but it also comes with inevitable stress.

You're bouncing around from class to class, buildings to libraries, dealing with the pressures of exams & midterms, and all the while you're fighting a cold or the flu, you have 4 projects that are worth 60% of your final grade, and it's only the second week back in this semester.

Student life is not easy.  There is a lot of pressure to excel & succeed, and it can be truly overwhelming.  For those of us who have surpassed the post secondary education part of our lives, there are definitely times of stress that will forever stick in our memories.

Students can often wear themselves down when they don't take the appropriate measures to take care - of their physical selves, as well as their mental selves.  In fact, when a student continues down a slippery slope of not taking care of themselves, one may potentially experience depression, anxiety, panic attacks, and thoughts or actions of self harm or suicide.

This doesn't mean that if you're having a particularly bad day or week that all of a sudden you're going to have these thoughts running through your mind, however it is possible.

How can a student take care of their overall being?  It's not always going to be easy, but with practice, students can adapt to coping skills that will benefit them all school year round.

TIPS

- Diet & Exercise - 
This does not mean you have to hit up the gym 5 days a week on top of your regular schedule and buy all organic foods, but it does mean to eat healthy meals (skip the fast food in the cafeteria and go for some homestyle cooking, or a fresh salad/soup combo) and to try and get at least 30 minutes of exercise in your day.  A great tool to help you get moving, are the active wear bracelets that you can sync to your smart phone.  A gentle vibration will remind you when you haven't moved in awhile - get your heart rate up with a walk, go for a skate on the canal, or hit up the gym!

- Do Something For YOU - 
Finding something that you love to do, will help ease the stress!  If it's going for a mani/pedi, or grabbing the guys to watch a game at the local pub, or if it's simply cranking the music and letting it all out in an impromptu dance party, do it!  

- Furry Friends - 
Do you have a pet in your home?  Or a friend with a dog or a cat?  Studies have shown that just 15 minutes with a furry friend can help ease major stress.  Many universities have Pet Therapy Programs, where animals who have gone through therapy training will visit on designated days, to help brighten the lives of students.  Ask your Student Centre if anything like this exists and how you can attend!  Or, visit your local Humane Society and volunteer as a dog walker.

- Talk It Out - 
Knowing that you have a place to turn to in your time of stress is helpful.  This is where we at the Distress Centre come in handy.  Since we're 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, we are always here, ready to listen and support you.  If you're cramming for a test or a midterm and are at your wit's end, pick up the phone and call us.  Talking about what ails you, is one of the best ways to cope.  Our Crisis Line Responders are non judgmental, unbiased, and are people, just like you & I.  

If you have a student in your life, pass along our blog post so that we can help each of them get through potentially tough times.

We're always here, and always ready to listen : 613-238-3311

Exercise For Your Mental Health

Exercise.

It's one of those things.  One of those "I'm going to start going for a run after work, five days a week!", and "Oh let's sign up for that free month of yoga at the local studio!" and the "I got a gym membership for the classes!"

Then they sometimes turn into...

"Ugh, I don't want to go run tonight, I'm exhausted."

"I'm too sore from the last yoga class & I didn't have a clue what I was doing!"

and...

"I don't know anyone at the gym, so the classes are boring."

Sound familiar?

When you choose to exercise, you may not realize, but while your body is getting in shape, your mind is too.

Our minds & bodies are synced together 24/7.  When we exercise, it's no different.  

Exercising doesn't mean that you need the $750 gym membership (although if that motivates you, then great!) or that we need to be sporting the latest workout gear by celebrities, or even that you have to go run 5k every night.  

When you workout, in whatever form that may be (swimming, running, cycling, group exercise, hiking, walking, sports, skating, etc) your body releases endorphins, which trigger a sense of happy in your brain.  When your brain feels these endorphins, it sends them throughout your entire body, making what you're doing, feel even better!

How much exercise is recommended?  30 minutes a day.  Take a walk on your lunch.  Play with the kids in the backyard.  Do a home exercise dvd.  Go to the gym & do cardio or circuit training.  

Other benefits from those 30 minutes of your exercise include:

• Less tension, stress & mental fatigue
• Natural energy boost (throw away those energy drinks please!)
• Improved sleep
• Less anger & frustration
• Sense of achievement (yes, you really did just leg press 150lbs!)
• Appetite for healthier foods (these paired up together are a winning combination!)
• Appreciation

If you need a step in the right direction, start small.  Focus on one exercise you enjoy doing.  If it's a walk, that's great!  Take on one exercise and own it, stick with it for 3 months, and you'll notice a difference!

Prefer the social aspect of working out?  Check out a gym that's close to your house, and encourage a friend to join you so that you have a workout partner all the time.  There are many gyms with memberships under $40 a month.

Always remember to consult your doctor when beginning an exercise regime, to rule out any potential complications.

Remember, above all, you CAN do it, and we're here to support you through it all.  613-238-3311

It's Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas...Stress

Imagine you're in a snowglobe.

You're the little figurine inside, carrying wrapped up gifts taller than you, you're holding the hand of a little one beside you.

There are trees, and maybe a shopping centre behind you.  

And then there's the snowglobe snow, flying & billowing all around you, in the small dome that surrounds you, coming at you from all directions.

And then it settles on the bottom of the globe, until someone or something shakes it up again.

Starting to sound like your life right now?

You're not alone.

As the holiday season is now upon us, the hustle & bustle of everything is coming to light.

The food.  The shopping.  The wrapping.  The visitors.  The travelling.  The weather.  The parties. 

Pressure.

Stress.

Anxiety. 

Maybe this is your first holiday season after suffering a tragedy or a loss.

Grief.

Sadness.

Depression.

Maybe you have people in your life that you'll be seeing, and you don't want to.

Loss of sleep.

Panic.

Darkness.

Maybe you just are feeling like this is it for you.

Isolation.

Loneliness.

Suicidal thoughts.

You don't need to feel ashamed if you're experiencing any of these thoughts.

The holidays are meant to be bright & merry, to have you happy & healthy, and to end the year with joy in your heart.

Here are some helpful tips that may make sense for you to try out!

TO-DO Lists

I am a huge to-do list person.  I find that if I write out literally everything I have to do, from grocery shopping to packing our overnight bags, that I know as soon as I cross that one item off my list, it's done.  Start with the tasks that you know will take up the most time and get those done first, that way as you get through your list, the easier tasks are on the bottom, and you'll zip right through them.

DELEGATE!

We as humans, want perfection at the holidays, just as we see in the movies, with the big tree decorated, a gorgeous turkey on the table, everyone dressed up and on their best behavior, and that you did it all by yourself.  In reality, we're more like the movie Four Christmases - baby is spitting up, kids are fighting, everyone's tired, the dog is in the garbage & the smoke alarm keeps going off for no reason.  Then someone asks you what they can do to help. Take the opportunity to delegate a task or two this holiday season, and you'll feel so much better, knowing that one thing is off your plate, so to speak.

Cranberry Sauce, a la Bart - kids can help too!  :)  (anyone remember this episode?  It aired 25 years ago this year!)

LESS IS MORE

The age old saying of "Less is more" still rings true today.  Have a budget set out for gift giving?  Stick to it!  What will going over your budget bring you?  Sure more presents under the tree, your kids receiving more...and a hefty credit card bill in January that will cause stress & anxiety.  Why not make some gifts this year? (Search handmade gifts on Pinterest, the possibilities are endless!) Or plan an outing with your family to a local amusement establishment?  (If you're in Ottawa, there's Skyzone, Laser Quest, Top Kart etc!)  Or ask them to fill out the following list:

TALK TO SOMEONE

If you're experiencing feelings of uneasiness, anxiety, sadness, depression, or thoughts of suicide, please know that our phone lines do not close over the holidays.  We have some pretty incredible people on our phones from Christmas Eve, Christmas morning, New Year's Eve & every day in between, to make sure that you have someone to talk to this holiday season.  Every call is completely free & confidential, and we are not here to judge you.  If you need a break between the presents and the turkey, take a few minutes to call us, and we'll be here to listen and support you.  613-238-3311.

From all of us at the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region, we'd like to wish you a very happy holiday season, filled with joy & love.  Be well!

Falling Back

The leaves are almost gone from the trees.  There's a permanent chill in the air.  There's frost on your car in the early hours of the morning, and let's be honest, there are more Christmas decorations in stores already than there were Hallowe'en.

Welcome to the time of the Autumn season where we "Fall Back" an hour.  Tomorrow night before bed (November 1st) we turn our clocks back, which means an extra hour of sleep (yay!) but less daylight (boo).

When you're getting up in the dark, and you're getting home in the dark, it's hard on your body & mind.  It's easy to fall into the routine of being in your workplace during the day, and staying indoors in the evening.  We turn to comfort food (hello, Mac & Cheese!) and fall victim to prime time television.  

While this all sounds like it isn't too big of a deal, our bodies & minds crave & need the daylight.  Without daylight, we become sluggish, our minds become slower, and our metabolism slows down.  Some people will deal with Seasonal Affective Disorder (S.A.D), and some will become depressed and deal with anxiety.  

So how can you deal with the time change?  Here are some tips!

1) Maximize your exposure to daylight.  It may be something as simple as a walk on your lunch hour.  If it's cold, bundle up, grab some mittens, and a coworker or pet, and take a 20-30 minute walk.  While you're walking, breathe in the air, and soak in the daylight.  Studies show that 30 minutes of daylight will energize your body & mind for the rest of the day.

2) Participate in outdoor activities you enjoy!  Do you enjoy going for hikes?  Take a trip up to the Gatineau Hills.  Like to ski?  There are amazing ski hills just 30 minutes away.  More of a "walk with a friend" kind of person?  Get some friends together for a morning walk before work, or start a Learn to Run group.

3) Practice healthy habits.  Eat well.  Sleep well.  Exercise. These three activities will be your best friends throughout the Fall/Winter months.

4) Follow your schedule. If you are taking medications, continue to take them at their appropriate times, and talk to your doctor if you think you need any adjustments.  If you are able to, under the advice of your doctor, consider taking a Vitamin D supplement as well, to boost your daily intake.

5) Watch for signs of S.A.D.  If you are feeling depression, anxious, stressed, and you aren't entirely sure why, you could be suffering from S.A.D.  Reach out to your doctor, and our 24/7 phone lines to talk about what you are feeling.  

You know how great the sunshine feels, so when Mr.Sun is out during the day, consider going out to say hello to the sun, and smile while his warm rays shine down on you!

As always, we are here for you anytime you need us.  613-238-3311.  Visit us online as well at www.dcottawa.on.ca 

Dealing with Tragedy & Traumatic Events

Today, Ottawa has lost its innocence of being a city where nothing happens.

Upon arriving to work today, I hear of a shooting at the Canadian War Memorial.  Followed closely by another shooting outside the Peace Tower.

My first thoughts were with my spouse, my sister in law, and my brother in law, who all were downtown today for work and school.  My thoughts went there, and then to "What is going on in Ottawa?!"

There is nothing that can prepare us for a tragedy and traumatic event such as what we are experiencing today.

Fear.

Anxiety.

Stress.

Sadness.

Anger.

These are all emotions that we can expect to feel as these events unfold.  We are all glued to reports, radio & television, waiting to hear that it's over and that the shooters have been caught, or taken down.

These emotions are not something to be ashamed of, or something to hide.  These are normal feelings and taking time to acknowledge how you feel will help with the healing process.

Shock is another feeling that many will experience.  Ottawa is known as an otherwise sleepy, political city, and the thought "Things like this do not happen here" are being spoken repeatedly.  Shock symptoms can include:

• Decrease in blood pressure
• Rapid or weak pulse
• Heart fluttering
• Confusion
• Cool, clammy skin
• Rapid & shallow breathing
• Anxiety
• Lightheadedness

Be sure to alert someone if you are feeling any of these symptoms.

Many parents are posing the question "How do I explain this to my children?"  It's not going to be easy, and each parent will do this in their own way.  There is no "best way" to explain to your children that there was multiple shootings today, but with these tips, you may find your own way to explain:

• Sit your child down in a spot where they are comfortable
• Let them know that you & your family are safe
• Allow your child/ren to ask questions when they need to
• Stay clear of unnecessary details
• Explain that it's okay to feel different emotions
• Encourage them to talk to you when they are feeling something

We are all in this together, and leaning on each other in tough times is key.

There is something to be said on how a tragedy can bring a community closer together, and we can know that Ottawa bands together in this tragic time.

Please know that we are here for you 24/7, no matter what.

Call us. 613-238-3311