Self-Harm

Maybe you've been out somewhere and have seen someone in passing, or even a friend, or a co-worker with a bandage on their arm/wrist, or have seen visible scars branding someone's body that seem like they were deliberately placed.  Maybe the thought has crossed your mind "Why would anyone want to cut themselves?"  

Self-harm doesn't just affect one's body, but also their mind, and spirit.  It also just isn't about someone cutting themselves to feel pain or trying to escape life.

In fact, those who participate in self-harm, are often looking to feel better.  Those who are searching this feeling get a "high" from having the power & control over their mind and body, and it can feel euphoric, releasing certain endorphins.  Those who self-harm aren't always looking to end their lives, but in certain situations, this can be their reason for self-harm.  There are also tragic "overdoses" of self-harm where one can accidentally end their lives.

Self-harm doesn't just fall into cutting.  There are many methods people use, and can often move from one to another when that high isn't attainable anymore.

Self-Harm

• Cutting (often with razor blades, scissors or glass)
• Burning
• Hitting
• Scratching or picking at skin
• Hair pulling
• Inserting objects into body

Behaviours also considered as self-harm:

• Smoking
• Drinking alcohol
• Drug addiction
• Food (binge eating or starvation)
• Sex (many partners, unprotected)

Why does someone indulge in self-harm?  There is something in that person's life that is leading them to feel like they need to do this to themselves.  A traumatic experience (past or present), lack of coping skills, difficult relationships, financial woes, death of a family member or friend, battling a mental health disorder, battling a physical disability, issues academically, dealing with sexuality, abusive relationships (emotionally and physically), being bullied, and having issues at work.  There may also be psychological reasons that someone self-harms, such as hearing voices, repeated thoughts of doing it, forcing you to act upon to make the thoughts go away, and it could be a symptom of a borderline personality disorder.  This list is certainly not exhaustive as anything can trigger someone to want to self-harm.  T

How does someone get over the urge to do this to themselves?  Well there are many ways, but it takes time, effort and the person's own desire to stop.

• Cognitive Behavioral Therapy - helps to identify unhealthy, negative beliefs and behaviors by slowly introducing them, and learning to cope with healthy & positive skills
• Dialectical Behavior Therapy - a brand of CBT (above) that teaches behavioral skills to help tolerate distress, manage or regulate emotions and improve relationships
• Psychodynamic Psychotherapy - focuses on identifying past experiences, hidden memories or interpersonal issues at the root of emotional difficulties through self-examination guided by a therapist (source Mayo Clinic)
• Medications - while there are no meds to treat self-harming behavior, a doctor may prescribe antidepressants or other medications to help treat a mental health disorder surrounding the self-harm behavior

If you or someone you know are self-harming, your first step to recovery is to confide in someone you trust.  If you can't confide in someone who is close to you just yet, you can call to talk to one of our amazing volunteers, at any time of day or night. 

613-238-3311

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder

"Tap three times on the right, tap three times on the left."

 

"I have to check to make sure the oven is off, the lights are out, the door has been locked.  Okay, check again.  The oven is off..."

 

"My hands are still dirty from that germ-infested bus ride home from work, I'll keep washing them."

 

"If I change my morning routine even the slightest bit, my family will all get sick and die."

Obsessive Compulsive Disorder.

What is it?  OCD (as most commonly used) is an anxiety disorder in that people who are affected by it, have both obessive and compulsive tendancies.  OCD affects 1-2% of the population, and usually becomes present in late teens-mid twenties, although some people say they noticed

What is the difference between an obession and a compulsion?  An obsession is generally a thought that is disturbing and unwanted, unprovked, that come to mind that are either in the form of an image or an impulse that cause a great deal of anxiety or distress.  A compulsion is a behavior that is deliberate, needed, like washing something, checking something, ordering something, or a mental act like counting & repeating.  Compulsions are acted upon by the person affected to "help to reduce the anxiety" caused by the obession, when in turn can cause additional anxiety.

How is OCD diagnosed?  Well first, the person must be willing to see a doctor.  A doctor will run a series of physical, labratory and pyschological exams.  The doctor will talk to you regarding your thoughts, feelings, how you are physically feeling, how you cope, and what triggers set your obsession and compulsions off.  You may also be asked about thoughts of self-harm, harming others, or suicide ideations.   It is so important to be honest with your doctor about all of the above so that a proper testing and a diagnosis can be made.

What kind of treatment is available for OCD sufferers?  There are a couple options, and depending on what your doctor thinks is best, there may be a combination of the variety.  A type of psychotherapy called "Cognitive Behavioral Therapy" (CBT) may be used - it's an exposure and response therapy.  It involves the person becoming gradually exposed to their obession, and learning healthy ways to cope.  You may do this therapy alone, or your doctor may invite your loved ones who are closest with you to participate as well.

There are also antidepressants and antianxiety medications that may be prescribed, which can elevate levels of seretonin, which with OCD, can be lacking.  There are a few to choose from, and once prescribed, and the person has been taking them for a minimum of 2 weeks, it's ideal to note how you're feeling, how you are coping with the OCD, and what is and is not working for you.  Your doctor will be able to make adjustments of the medication if you find it's not working out. 

Above all, know that you're not alone.  Our volunteers here at the Distress Centre of Ottawa & Region are ALWAYS here for you, no matter what.  613-238-3311 anytime of day or night.

Grief

If you are one of the few people in this world who are fortunate enough to not have lost someone or something in your life, that you have not experienced grief from, you are in a very small percentage.

The majority of the world has experienced grief in one way or another.  Through the loss of a loved one, a traumatic experience that has taken a life too soon, the loss of a job, finances, a home.  The loss of a child or a pregnancy.  The loss of a parent or sibling.  Loss of health.  Retirement.  The loss of your family pet.  Loss of a relationship, friendship or marriage.  Loss of an era of time (ie: graduating college).  Loss of safety.

Grief, like most things, is a very unique experience for each person, but with many similarities at the same time.  Grief is a natural response to loss - the more significant the loss, the more intense the emotions and grieving will be.

How you grieve is dependant of factors, sometimes out of our control - coping skills, personality, your morals & values, what you're grieving over, WHO you're grieving over, how you manage your day to day coping skills.

You may have heard the old cliché "Time heals all wounds".  This is very true in the case of grief.  There is no "normal" grieving period, because as we mentioned, it's a highly unique experience for each person.  Some people could have closure within days, others it could take weeks or months, sometimes even years. 

You may have also heard about the "Stages of Grief". 

• Denial "There is no way this is/has happening/ed"
• Anger "I can't believe this happened!"
• Bargaining "Please, make this not happen, and I promise I will.........."
• Depression "I don't think I can deal with this"
• Acceptance "Perhaps it was a blessing in disguise"

Not everyone will experience each stage.  Sometimes, people have been dealing with something for so long, that they are more emotionally and mentally prepared for the outcome of the loss.  Also, the stages of grief won't necessarily fall in order as stated above - there is no textbook cases, as there is no textbook case of loss.

What can grief feel like on your body and mind?  Many people use the word "numb".  That you're just in such disbelief that you don't really feel anything.

There can be feelings of guilt, sadness, anger, fear, and yes, even happiness (if someone has been sick for a very long time, and the loss of them has ended a period of suffering).  There can also be physical symtoms present with fatigue, loss of appetite or vice-versa (eating to cope), flu-like symptomes (aches & pains) nausea and more.

How can you get through a time of grief?  Support from your family, friends, co-workers can be a great place to start, as they are the ones who know you the best.  You can speak with a therapist or join a support group.  You can also turn to us here at the Distress Centre.  We take many calls from people who have suffered a loss either recently, or in the past that they are having a hard time coping with. 

If you need someone to talk to, we are here for you.  You don't have to go through this loss alone.  613-238-3311 anytime of day or night.

Take Care of You, Too!

If you're a caregiver of sorts, or a family member of someone who is suffering from a disorder or illness (mental, physical, psycological) you may have in your caregiving experienced what is known as "Compassion Fatigue".

Compassion Fatigue is simply that - exhaustion that has escalated from being a caregiver in someone's life.  Compassion comes from within, and while not everyone will experience Compassion Fatigue or "Secondary Trauma Stress - STS", those who do can feel the effects in their home life, work life, and personal life.

What does Compassion Fatigue look/feel like?  In everyone, it's different, as it is a stress, and stress is not the same for each individual.  There is typically a negative effect on said person's emotions, and they reach a point where there is little to no desire to continue assisting those they have been.

Symptoms of Compassion Fatigure can include (but are not limited to):

• "Bottled up" emotions
• Voicing excessive complaints
• Isolation from others
• Excessive blaming of others
• Complusive behaviors (overspending, overeating, gambling, etc)
• Poor hygenine
• Chronic physical ailments (colds, flus, etc)
• Depression
• Fatigue (tired, sleeping longer than normal)
• Unfocused
• Angers easily about simple tasks
• Cries easily about simple tasks
• Lack of interest around hobbies and activities that once loved

So how can caregivers get through and even prevent Compassion Fatigue?  There are many ways, and each individual will have to work with themselves to find out what works best. 

One way is to maintain a diverse of your own social support through family, friends, colleagues and even pets, which helps promote a positive state of mind. 

Discovering your own stress levels, and your triggers can also be helpful. 

Using your breathing to calm your stress levels.  Deep, consistent, steady breaths help the mind flow properly, and can aid in deceasing stress.

Get enough sleep.  Proper sleep (6-8 hours a night for adults) is extremely important.  When you're physically tired, as well as mentally exhausted, everything can seem like a task and a half.

Gaining perspective on what you do and do not have control over is key.  Does the person you are caring for have a terminal illness?  Does he or she have a mental illness that they have been and will be suffering from for the rest of their lives?  These things are out of your control. 

Decide what is most important in your life.  Try making a list of what you need in your life to get you through your stressful times (positive things) and a list of the things that could stand a change.  Analyse this list with someone you trust.

Encourage dialogue daily.  Talking about your stress can help vent the negative feelings.

If you find yourself in a deep state of Compassion Fatigue, we are here for you, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week.  Simply pick up the phone and speak to one of our amazing volunteers at 613-238-3311.

Compassion Fatigue is nothing to be ashamed of!  Call us today to get support during this difficult time.

Father's Day

Father's Day is just around the corner, and while many celebrate with their Dad on Sunday over brunch, sports, BBQ'ing and other Dad-related stuff, others find themselves grieving the loss of their father, or dealing with a traumatic past or present experience.  Some may never have even met their father.

• Perhaps you're a single mother, dealing with a child who has been acting out in their father's absence? 

• Maybe you're someone who has been battling on the front line from physical, mental or sexual absuse from your father?

• Maybe your father has been suffering from a mental illness for quite a long time and you're a primary caregiver in his life?

• Perhaps your dad is dealing with substance abuse (alcohol, drugs, etc)?

• Maybe you're a teenager or young adult who is having issues surrounding your father and you don't know who to talk to about them?

• Maybe you've recently lost your father and are having a hard time with the thought of Father's Day coming up?

 

Whatever the case may be, taking the time to listen to what Father's Day brings forth for you, is what we're here for. 

If you need someone to talk to this Father's Day, we are here, as always.  613-238-3311.

 

Suicide Is A Scary Word

Suicide.

It's a dark, scary and confusing word, one that people have not always openly talked about.  A word that is simply tragic.

In Canada, with a population of 32,245,200 (stats from 2009) there were 3890 reported suicides, and 5-25% more in unreported suicides.

1.6 million people, or 5% of the population experience thoughts of suicide.

What leads someone to wanting their life to end?  Each individual is different in their reasoning. 

• Feeling like there is a lack of people who care (friends, family, etc)
• Bullying
• Feelings of not being good enough
• Rejection
• Isolation
• Hopelessness
• Lonliness
• Traumatic experience
• Pain associated with a disease
• Mental illness such as depression, anxiety, schizoprenia, bi-polar, etc

......and many other reasons that someone may feel like they have no other option.

Did you know what the term "Johnny committed suicide last night" is a politically incorrect term?  Years ago, before the Criminal Code of Canada removed it, a person could be charged for a suicide attempt, should they live - but in 1972, this law was removed from the Criminal Code, thus making the term "committed suicide" incorrect.  "Taking their life" is one of the more appropriate terms when speaking of someone's suicide.

But how do you know when someone is experiencing thoughts of suicide?  Courtesy of the LivingWorks guide, there are signs to watch for:

ACTIONS

* Giving away possessions
* Withdrawl from family, friends, school, work
* Loss of interest in hobbies
* Abuse of alcohol and/or drugs
* Reckless behavior
* Extreme behavior changes
* Impulsivity
* Self-mutilation

THOUGHTS

* "I won't be needing these things anymore"
* "I can't do anything right"
* "I just can't keep my thoughts straight anymore"
* "I just can't take it any more"
* "I wish I were dead"
* "Everyone will be better off without me"
* "All of my problems will end soon"
* "No one can do anything to help me now"
* "Now I now what they were going through"

PHYSICAL

* Lack of interest in appearance
* Change/loss in sex interest
* Disturbed sleep
* Change/loss of appetite, weight
* Physical health complaints

How do we on the phone lines, hear the telltale signs that someone is exeperiencing thoughts of suicide?  Every single one of our volunteers have gone through the Applied Suicide Intervention Skills Training workshop (ASIST) which teaches the art of understanding, assisting and connecting to the person calling.  We are trained in suicide prevention and will do everything we can to help the caller find their reasons for living; feelings, hopes, beliefes, values, attitudes or skills, family, friends, pets, organizations and activities could all be said reasons.

As we've learned from society, and the reporting of suicides, is that it's not one specific age group or demographic that wants to end their life - it can be anyone - your neighbour, your family member, your teacher, your co-worker.  It can be someone as young as 9 years old, and it can be someone in their 90's. 

How can you help someone who is experiencing suicide ideations?  Listen.  If the person is in immediate danger of harming themselves, get emergency assistance immediately!!  If the person is willing to talk to someone about their feelings, we are here, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, NO MATTER WHAT. 

613-238-3311

 

Remember, you are not alone.  There is always someone caring & supportive on our lines, ready to listen.

 

 

 



Race Weekend Wrap Up

What a weekend!  Yes, the Ottawa Race Weekend was this past weekend, and with an awesome group of staff, volunteers and community members running various races, and raising funds for our 24/7 crisis line services, it was a weekend to remember!

We'd like to give a huge shout out to not only the people who trained hard and ran the race, but to the people who donated, and came out in the less than ideal temperatures (it was so cold!) to cheer our group of runners on!

We were able to raise $1610 for our phone lines, which goes towards us answering nearly 40,000 calls for help, support and community referrals every year.

Running, like any exercise, is such an excellent outlet for aiding in symptoms from depression, stress, anxiety, and more.  When you run, your mind belongs to you, and you are controlling your body and how fast or slow you go.  As the old saying goes "No matter how fast or slow you are, you're still lapping everyone who's sitting on the couch".  There are many training programs that will help you reach a 5k run in 8-10 weeks, with 3 runs a week.  Check out the Couch To 5k program (C25K) online, or via an app on your smart phone.

We can't wait to do this all again next year.  Registration for the 2014 Race Weekend opens September 1st, giving you 8 months of training time for whatever race you want to run!  We'd love to see you on the course :)

 

Our Community Relations Coordinator, Leslie, finishing the 10k on Saturday

 

Ottawa Race Weekend 2013